this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2024
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[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation
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Oh sweetie, we all do silly things in our youth we regret. Thats part of life and growing older. This is absoutly nothing to ruminate over. I really think you can improve your day to day by working on your mental health. Self-hatred is easy, but its miserable and serves no one.
You and your turtles deserve better!
Very kind of you but the fact remains for me that the shadow of this relationship follows me everywhere and I can’t let it go or forgive myself for destroying it. No counselling will help. It is what it is.
I understand that our lives are brief and pointless. The only magic is what we create in our own heads, sometimes dangerously. I don’t claim to be special or demand the universe unwind back 30 years to fix it. She’s moved on. I haven’t. It’s pathetic on my part, but there it is. TBH I’d rather we had kept going and destroyed each other, or she cheated on me or pretty much anything else except what actually happened.
Bah.