Relationship Advice
Welcome to the Relationship Advice community on Lemmy and Kbin!
The ideal place to ask for help with your relationships: romantic, friendships, we don't know what we are yet, co-workers or just human interactions in general.
Please make sure you read our rules before posting.
Rules:
Rules can be clicked on to be expanded.
1: Treat all users with respect. [!]
The goal of this community is helping OP and readers, not making fun of them. We are an inclusive community, any sort of disrespect towards ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, etc, will not be tolerated.
2: Mark sexual content as NSFW. [!]
Posts containing mentions or descriptions of sexual topics must be tagged as NSFW. This includes descriptions of sexual acts, requests for advice in the bedroom, explicit descriptions of your body and similar content.
3: All posts must be a request for advice.
All posts must be phrased as a request for advice or as a question. Sharing of stories, personal anecdotes, or past mistakes are only allowed if they're followed by a clear and relevant request for advice with the situation.
4: Provide sufficient and relevant information.
Your title and body need to contain enough information relevant to your situation, such as ages, genders, and the relationship between people mentioned. For privacy-related concerns, we recommend using fake names and broad general locations.
5: Comments must be on topic and relevant to OP.
Comments must be directly related to helping OP, asking for more information, providing relevant resources or otherwise relevant to the thread. Off-topic comments and remarks, suspicious attempts at gathering personal data from OP or other readers, or bullying will not be tolerated.
6: This is a community for requesting advice, not moral judgement.
Moral judgements, "AITA?" and other similar questions are better served by different communities.
Reddit reposts are allowed.
As a temporary measure and the result of a poll, Reddit reposts are allowed following an expanded set of rules: https://lemmy.world/post/317115
How are rules enforced and bans applied?
For the most part, this community operates under the assumption that users are acting in good faith and should be given second-chances for their mistakes. Posts and comments with very light rule violations, or otherwise undesired but mostly harmless content, can be removed by a moderator on a case by case basis without any further punitive actions.
For violations of our rules, we follow a “3 strike” system as follows:
-
1st violation: 72 hours ban + moderator warning via PMs.
-
2nd violation: 1 week ~ 1 month ban + final warning via PMs.
-
3rd violation: 1 month ~ permanent ban.
The goal of this system is making sure users are made aware of their behavior before being permanently banned, but also protecting the community from any rule violations.
Exceptions:
While the “3 strike” system will be applied to the majority of situations, rules marked with a [!] in the sidebar signifies a rule that, if violated in an intentional, malicious or significant way, can warrant an immediate permanent ban regardless of the number of previous violations. This includes severe disrespect to users or groups, dangerous content, and similar.
Related communities:
-
Adulting: !adulting@lemmy.world
-
No Stupid Questions: !nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
-
Mental Health !mentalhealth@lemmy.world
view the rest of the comments
I'm not going to armchair diagnose anyone, but if you're going to do it to anyone in this post, it's the person who wrote it and who is having this much of an issue with their partner doing something she enjoys.
The entire situation could reasonably be resolved by asking her to put headphones on, but it isn't about that, it's about OP looking down on people who watch these kinds of shows, and thinking less of their partner for it, which is super fucking shitty. As is trying to frame those who watch them as maladaptive addicts who must have something wrong in their lives to justify their viewing habits.
Seriously.. 🤦♀️
(E: oh, and just to pre-empt any assumptions: I don't personally enjoy those shows, literally never watched them ever, so this isn't about being defensive, it's about not being an ass)
I didn't think that "have you investigated whether your wife is unhappy with something and attempted to address the underlying issue" would be viewed as such a wife-blaming take on things, but it seems you're not alone in seeing it that way.
I edited my post to remove talk about addiction. Speaking as a maladaptive addict, I didn't view what I was saying as in any way blaming / shaming her or anything, but I can see how it comes across that way. I think it's definitely valid that a much milder interpretation (it's basically fine and she's just watching shows) is equally consistent with what he was saying as my interpretation is, so I edited my comment to ask him for a little more quantitative information.
You two should date, you're perfect for one another. OP's wife could just watch you.
The world should look down on people who watch reality tv.