this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2024
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ADHD
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i’m so sorry you live under that pressure of others expectations. having the capacity to take a disciplined approach and self moderate your behaviors is an important skillset, no doubt. but that is not the same thing as feeling and nurturing intrinsic motivation.
That's what I'm thinking about. I want to learn to do random stuff with enjoyment rather than getting good at specific things. And I'm unsure whether this can be achieved with discipline
I might reframe this pursuit (finding stuff to do merely because you find pleasure in the activity) as self care-in a very practical sense. I’ve tried before, especially during stretches of time without medication, to pick a specific time within a given week, say Tuesdays and Thursdays after dinner, to meaningfully allocate my focus towards an unspecified non-productive activity. Sketching, jigsaw puzzles, taking a walk, reading a book, etc. By keeping it unspecified I can easily swap out one activity for another when the time comes and by viewing it as block of recurring scheduled time that is tied to my existing schedule, it’s much easier to remember to incorporate it into my day. As contrast, if I planned “to take a walk next Thursday after dinner”, chances are I’ll end up forgetting beforehand or get caught up in something else.
I suppose if I squint I could say adhering to this schedule change could be considered exercising discipline, but to me it feels like an ambiguous and pressured oversimplification.
Thanks :)