technology

as a geriatric millenial, self-checkout and self-serve kiosks are hilarious. the first ones i remember seeing were at the movie theater like 20 damn years ago. took less than a day for word to spread that "the move" was to buy a senior, child, or student ticket and use that. as someone who used to have the "tear your ticket" job, i never gave a fuck. i just looked at the number of the theater and pointed toward it. if they went somewhere else, i also didn't give a fuck. i also never policed outside food. i would usually smile and nod at people willing to bring in crazy shit without hiding it. like a full blown boston market rotisserie chicken or a big ass fast food bag with a giant drink. fuckin' kings.

my employer uses self-checkout shit at this giant cafeteria. the cafeteria workers routinely give us barcode stickers for the wrong item at super cheap (like a $1.50 side instead of an $8 entree) and load up the portions/extras. and when a barcode reads as invalid? that means it's free! nobody gives a shit so long as you don't draw attention to yourself and pantomime like you're ringing it all up normally and paying.

all it really takes to get free shit in this world sometimes is being friendly to the workers, not stacking up on someone when they are busy with others, and being easy with a laugh, smile and a knowing glance. and not trying to press your luck when some overseer is making their rounds. always make everybody look like they are crushing it at their job while delivering outstanding customer service and, together, we can rob the motherfuckers blind.