this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2024
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I don't wanna go to work today. ☹️ Is anyone able to go in and impersonate me for a day instead? Can pay in zucchini.
I was still following the previous zucchini negotiators and thought this was advising hiring zucchini body doubles, or possibly human body doubles and training them in the ways of zucchini
Perhaps I could train the zucchinis to be body doubles for cucumbers? I have many zucchinis but the cucumbers failed to grow entirely, so this could solve my problem.
Train them? That would take way too long, I was hoping for someone really good at bluffing and bullshit. The type that have absolutely no idea how to do their job but somehow seem to get through the day without anyone noticing.
I'll do it for 17,000 zucchinis
That is a lot of zucchinis. I might need to pay in installments. Would you accept a payment plan of 5 zucchinis a week over the summer period for the next 283 years?
This is acceptable
As you did not attend at 6am this morning as required under the terms of the contract I have instead instead gone to work and impersonated myself.
I got the date wrong and ended up in 1024... It smelled really bad. Bloody typos.
Did you mess up the location too? I would have expected Australia to mostly smell of eucalyptus and smoke at that timeframe.
In any case I will provide 1 zucchini in appreciation for your efforts 🥒 (I have been training them to impersonate cucumbers, hope that's ok)
Fabulous, consider it a deal. Now I just need you to travel back in time ready to start my shift at 6am.