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How do I [32M] have a "slut phase"? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago by CaptainStack@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Hear me out. First, I know sex isn’t everything and I know that hooking up and getting laid isn’t going to solve deeper needs and insecurities that I am working on.

That said, I’m also getting out of a long and bad relationship that has left me feeling like I missed so many experiences and opportunities in what ultimately were the final years of my 20s.

I never really properly figured out dating or hooking up. Even though it’s not literally true, I feel like the only person I’ve been with is someone where we skipped straight to “serious long term relationship” which not only contributed to why we didn’t work out, but also kind of stunted my development when it comes to romance and sex.

So now I’m trying to take a step back and just kind of loosen up and have fun in a way I feel I never have before. I do want to develop real connections and long term relationships, but I also want a bit of time away from that first.

Only problem is, I have no clue how and I do feel just a bit old for it. I’m on Tinder and frankly it just feels like nobody is interested.

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[–] Llamajockey@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Try bumble and hinge as well, in some ways it becomes a numbers game. Also I'd say lower your own standards at first just to get out there talking to people.

[–] CaptainStack@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

My standards aren't particularly high on the apps. I'd honestly say I consistently swipe below my rank. However, I don't really try to go out and meet people in person (yet) so maybe there's something there.

Also I haven't been on Bumble and Hinge so that is worth trying. They kind of seem to have more buzz nowadays anyway.

[–] Llamajockey@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

You should also look into joining classes for stuff youre into. Say a cooking class or gym class. A hobby where at the end you'll at least learn a bit and at least make some new friends and people.