this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2024
82 points (86.0% liked)

Asklemmy

43963 readers
2051 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I should be studying right now, but everytime I sit to study, I can't sit there long enough, I want food even though I am not hungry, I want to watch TV/youtube, self-pleasure... etc...

No matter what productive work I want to do, I will try to not do that and do something which gives me momentary pleasure. I want to masturbate, eat lots of food even though I am not hungry while watching TV/Youtube and I don't seem to be able to break the cycle and it's destroying me. How can I break the cycle and do something good for a change instead of pleasuring myself in the moment meaninglessly?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] BananaTrifleViolin@lemmy.world 63 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (14 children)

Self discipline is a skill in itself and it is something you can learn.

At it's most basic you restrict things you want and make them a reward for doing a task.

It can be hard to restrict things as you say. When I used to study, I used to go to a "3rd place" to do it. That is somewhere that is not home or work - I used to go to a library. In that environments you don't have TV, or food, and hopefully you won't be masturbating.

Mobiles can be very difficult though - if you can't stop yourself using your phone to watch YouTube then either leave it at home (I know, shocking idea in this day and age!) Or install parental locking/anti distraction software that locks your phone down for certain periods. This can help you learn self discipline with your phone.

Similarly if you study with a laptop, then look at anti distraction tools to keep you focused on your work rather than surfing or on YouTube.

The reward side is very important. You need to be consistent and follow through on your promises to yourself. Don't use unrealistic rewards - like "if I study for 6 hours today I'll have dinner tonight". You're going to have dinner anyway, and you don't want to go down the road of punishing yourself. Make it a favourite meal, or promise to watch next episode in a favourite TV show.

The idea is that you will be still enjoying those things because you will study and work. But be prepared to deny yourself those things if you fail to reach your goals in the beginning.

Self discipline is hard, not least because you can cheat yourself too easily. But it's worth putting in the effort, and the forced physical separation from the distractions and rewards at home makes it easier.

[โ€“] Subject6051@lemmy.ml 5 points 10 months ago (10 children)

hey, thank you! I feel like my brain is hijacked by all the stuff I do and I can't do anything else. Fuck this laptop and fuck this phone. These aren't good for me.

[โ€“] Redfox8 4 points 10 months ago

I'll 2nd what hexagon said about going to a library or similar place. Trying to work around other people who are working helps to focus the mind and reduce distractions. If you can go to a library, this may be a good place to set up better practices, e.g. thoses others have suggested, first, then set up a work-only zone at home you can transfer that feeling of focus and work to.

load more comments (9 replies)
load more comments (12 replies)