Welp! This is it!
It’s a fairly low abv (4.6%), perfect for my fundamentalist family.
It’s quite tart, but no back-sweetening needed. This is definitely better suited for a wine with wine yeast, I used cider yeast so if you’re considering a long term project (at least a year) this might be up your alley.
I can suggest a mead with some fruit juice (i forget the name for that style). Honey, water, fruit juice and some spices and you should have a nice base. I'd think possibly currants or blue/blackberries might work well. Or cranberries, but add less, just enough for acidity and colour. Then the tannins you mention shouldn't overpower the batch.
If you're feeling adventurous, you can caramelize some of that honey beforehand. Not a lot, just enough to bring some walnut/hazelnut flavour. Add some cinnamon maybe and I'm picturing a drinkable christmas cake.