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This may seem kind of stupid but I am kind of stupid, is there a list somewhere of phrases that are stupid or insensitive racially or gender biased? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I just got up from conversation with a couple of older black men, that I said "well I got to go back to work and start cracking the whip." And it occurred to me then that it was probably a really insensitive stupid thing to say.

Sadly, it hadn't occurred to me until it's already said.

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[–] BabyVi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 11 months ago

It would certainly be more convenient if they/them became a generic pronoun for everyone regardless of gender. But at the moment it's not nessararily polite to use it that way in all circumstances. There are people that only use gendered pronouns to refer to themselves, to the exclusion of neutral pronouns like they/them. Generally if there's any uncertainty about someone else's preferred pronouns you can just ask. If you wanna skirt around it you can introduce yourself including your pronouns which will give others a safe opportunity to do the same. Messing up someones pronouns can be embarrassing but it's not the same as dropping a slur. (Though it can still be very hurtful to those involved.)