this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2023
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Advice on helping a loved one through alcoholism? (lemm.ee)
submitted 1 year ago by Flickerby@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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My fiance has been struggling a lot lately with this and it's taking a toll on me. I'm doing all I can and all I know how to do but it's getting really hard and exhausting to deal with the constant cycle of abuse and then apology and then abuse and then apology over and over and over again for months. Usually day by day. I have convinced her to go to a counselor for help and she has an appointment set and seemed willing but she has kept up the cycle of drinking and I'm afraid she'll just ignore it or pretend to go. If anyone has experience helping a loved one through overcome this I would appreciate the help. She is an absolutely wonderful person when she is sober and I love her with all my heart but I'm not sure what else I can do and I don't want the rest of my life to consist of this.

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[–] hellweaver666@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 1 year ago (4 children)

If you want to do AA without the god bit, the Satanic Temple has something called Sober Faction (in case you didn’t know, Satanic Temple is an atheist organisation and doesn’t actually worship Satan)

[–] Flickerby@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago

I do know the satanic temple yeah, neither of us are religious. She might actually be a bit jazzed if it's from there honestly, thank you, I'll look into it

[–] Bartlebee@artemis.camp 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You can do AA without subscribing to a god. I chose nature for my higher power

[–] Flickerby@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How did that go for you? I know it's a personal thing but if you would be willing to expand on your experiences there in AA a little I would appreciate it, thank you

[–] Bartlebee@artemis.camp 4 points 1 year ago

It went great, i went to meetings and actually travelled a bit to share my story with people at other meetings. The whole point of a "higher power" is to acknowledge there is something bigger than yourself. I've been sober about 4 years now.

The main thing I think is important for people to get help is that they have to make the choice, if you force someone to get sober tbey will resent you for it. It is a lot of work and I am tremendously lucky I had my wife by my side. Hopefully that helped, i'm happy to answer dms if you have more questions

[–] breadsmasher@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

+1 this. β€œA higher power as you personally understand it”

[–] PetDinosaurs@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Every large city has atheist/agnostic/secular AA groups.