this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2023
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Why do I feel promiscuity is disgusting? I have no connection to a stupid religion, neither do I care about social standards in that regard. Am I old fashioned or uptight? But since I was a teenager I despise it to the point I had the opportunity and said no, several times (when I was younger, I'm around 40 now) My buddies always said i'm stupid asf, I don't know. Am I? Got 2 girlfriends in my life, the last one now for 20 years (still going), all my experience you can count on one hand, I don't feel inhibited in my "skills", at least what the feedback tells me, but on the other hand there's clearly a bias, idk.
Whether you are more or less sociosexual (the scientific term) is partly genetic and partly environmental (and by that I mean more how your parents behave than whether or not you belong to a religion). It is completely normal to be turned off by promiscuity because you value a deeper connection.
I wonder if it's because you associate the concept of promiscuity with the behaviours and attitudes of people who treat sex as a trophy and a bragging right.
There's a big difference between someone who likes what they like and does it when they can in their own bedroom, and someone who uses manipulative tactics to have as much sex as they can and brag about it as though that makes them a winner at something, acting superior.
Growing up in a society that reinforces that behaviour (specifically, in men) has probably meant that the two concepts are linked, and your feelings towards one are the same as the other.
I'm a certified slut and that type of "sex as a conquest" behaviour feels gross to me too, and if that was the only way to have casual sex, I'd never have casual sex ever again, even though I like sex.
I think because I'm not a man, it was easier for me to separate the two concepts. If anything, I was shamed for promiscuity, so it helped me to explore what's right for me with an attitude of "who cares what society thinks about my sex life".
Basically, if OP has sex and doesn't brag about it, did he still enjoy it? Because sometimes I think guys like this don't enjoy the sex for the sex, they want it for the status. And that's whack.
Probably because most promiscuous people use people like objects, like Anon.
To be fair, there is a fun, consenting way to do so. Anon's way ain't it though.
Humans are animals, they have sex. There should be no stigma on it, like you're having. Do you see monkeys shame each other for fucking right in front of each other? If people want to have sex, they will have sex, and if you don't want that, fine. But don't ever judge anyone for their choice.
I am with you on this point. I never believed in sex just for the sake of sex, without any deeper connection. Although lately I have been having doubts about being so un-promiscuous. Oh well, some things you will never know. At least I’m glad I’m not the only “fool” out there
There are different types of sexuality. I can't remember the term, but there are many people who prefer to have connection first before having sex (you know, the type of sexuality and romance usually depicted in movies). Others are promiscuous and don't mind casual sex.
People are just different. Some are promiscuous, others aren't. So long as both parties communicate what they are trying to achieve and have mutual consent, it's not really an issue.
I think the problem is that most of people don't realise there are different types of attraction/sexuality. We either assume one is promiscuous looking for body count, or looking for long lasting relationship. I didn't even know that there is a term for the type of sexuality/attraction I mentioned on the first paragraph. I always refer to it as "normal" because that's how I am expected to view dating and relationship growing up.