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This is the best summary I could come up with:
North West Leicestershire MP Andrew Bridgen has reported a fellow member to parliamentary authorities for allegedly slapping him on the back of the head.
Mr Bridgen, who joined the Reclaim Party after being kicked out of the Conservatives, demanded that Tory Crispin Blunt apologises for the "chop" in Parliament on Monday.
Mr Bridgen also claimed the Reigate MP called him a "bastard".
He told the PA news agency he believed the incident was "completely unprovoked", apart from him having questioned to a newspaper why he had the whip removed by the Tories but Mr Blunt had not for past comments about Hamas.
He told the PA news agency: "I was sitting at one of the round tables in Portcullis House and he went by the back of me and hit me on the back of the head with his hand and said, 'You're a bastard' and then legged it off.
A Parliamentary spokesperson said: "The Behaviour Code makes clear the standards of behaviour expected of everyone in Parliament - whether MPs, staff, members' staff, members of the House of Lords, press, contractors or visitors.
The original article contains 364 words, the summary contains 184 words. Saved 49%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!