this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2023
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So this just came to mind, since it's kind of related.
My wife's family recently did another round of "family cookbook" reprints, since her sister died earlier this year and reminded the older generation of their own mortality, so they better make their additions and pass it on.
My wife did not receive one. The reason? "well you didn't have kids, so it's not like you can pass it on"
Due to genetic disorders, she decided to make sure she couldn't have kids. The doctor that performed the TL asked her about it in his opening small talk, "but you're so young!" then he opened her file, started reading, and apologized.
Her mother and remaining sister agreed with the decision and refuse to give her a copy.
Jesus that is so messed up. It's such a weird obsession too, furthering the family line. Like are we all royalty all of a sudden? Which hearths will I inherit, mother? Or will I inherit a bunch of debt and grandma's Beanie Baby collection? Get off your high horse.
Having said that, this shit must hurt. Sorry she went through that. It's such a stupid thing to be this shitty about.
It was baffling to me. Like holy shit you, by your actions, are saying you don't consider her family because she won't have biological children. It's a family cookbook. Therefore it goes to family. If it doesn't go to someone, they aren't family.
Yeah that's so shitty. And it's like, one copy.
Little Bourgeois like to pretend they're rich and imitate the rich because of that. It's why people have lawns in a desert climate and eat way too much meat.
It's the narcissism, 100%.
She desperately wants people to view her as fancy, high class and powerful, then she goes home to government housing.
Incidentally, this same woman had a trump flag hanging up in her living room the first time I ever went over, then she committed fraud by using my address to get "one of them damn Obamaphones" for free, claiming to be the resident. I only found this out much later after she nearly disowned my wife because I'm pro-choice, and my wife finally realized her mother is psychotic.
Literally the only thing keeping me from reporting this woman to the police is keeping my wife happy, because she's convinced if I do anything to piss them off too much, she won't be able to visit her nieces and nephews anymore since her sister will cut her off. I think that is a possibility, soooooo yeah.
The woman defrauds the social systems she elects people to destroy.
Well Grandma's China cabinet and furniture needs to go somewhere as her kids won't take them.
Oh no! Not the cookbooks! With secret recipes for KFC and self-sustaining fusion reactor.
Honestly, you should tell your in-laws to piss off. They sound toxic af.
You have no idea. They're the stereotyped in-laws that everyone hates, but it's well deserved. MIL is narcissist, FIL/SIL are enablers.
Way out of line. He was probably about to ask what her husband would think.
Ohhh the amount of times people ask that... And whenever it comes up in a conversation, people ALWAYS turn to me and ask me how I feel about that.
First of all, FUCK YOU that's how I feel about it, it's none of your goddamn business thanks for asking.
Secondly, I was with her when she went to see the geneticist, and fully supported whatever decision she came to.
Thirdly, who gives a shit what I think, it's not my body that would be going through everything.
Sorry to hear.
I've chosen not to have kids by choice and I use to hear all the time from coworkers that weren't born here, "gasp! what about your grandkids and your old age? Who will take care of you? You will regret it!"
Many years later now that I'm older I hear from the same ones say I made the right decision. "You get to enjoy your life and not to worry what those little a-holes have done wrong now. They aren't a burden you can't get rid of" I then usually ask them are they sure it's not too late to abort?
People are weird, including me...
That's fuck up. Sorry for your wife.
Family is toxic and pointless. I don't know why people subject themselves to it as adults.
I'm talking about extended family, beyond your adult household.
Because not all people have toxic extended family, lol. Most of my extended family are awesome, friendly folks. I think you meant, "avoid toxic people in general," versus, "avoid extended family specifically"?
Well yeah pretty much. It is incredibly difficult for some though to come to that realization and apply it to family, because there's so much pressure put on family relationships that nearly all abuse will be overlooked when if the people weren't family they'd never choose to interact or ever get along. The arbitrary family connection causes years of pointless suffering.
Some families are stocked with reasonably pleasant people
Her family made me appreciate my own SO much more.
There are some good families out there as I've dated myself into some of them over the years.
However there are many where you can hear the banjos playing a little too close when you go to a family event like a wedding.
It takes having your own banjos at times to know which ones are really playing them and which ones to cut out which is hard for many. I've been able to do it over the years but it wasn't easy for others to understand. I know I'm better off for it in the long run.
I've never understood old cookbooks. Why would I make cow cunt boiled in fish oil with kale when I have the internet ,and can make food meant for human consumu?