this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2023
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Will this one-by-one system forever be our main thing or do you think we will break monogamy and maybe "team up" as groups or something?

And yeah polygamy is a thing but do you think it will catch on to "the upper class"?

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[–] mim@lemmy.sdf.org 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Polyamory is already mainly an upper class thing.

You are hard-pressed to find poly groups in rural areas and blue collar workers. It's usually first-world college educated urbanites.

[–] BassTurd@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Is cheating and having secret partners considered polyamory? If so, then it certainly exists abundantly amongst all classes.

[–] June@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A core tenant of polyamory is consent. Without consent from all partners to be in multiple relationships, it’s just infidelity.

So no, secret partners isn’t polyamory. Polyamory is a form of ethical, or consensual, non-monogamy, and infidelity is both unethical and non consensual.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Also you can be in a polyamorous relationship and still cheat. It all depends on what structure people are consenting to, where everyone's boundaries are. Granted it is more rare but it still happens sometimes. For example I have a pretty strict boundary where I don't want any of my existing partners to start dating any of my new partners until I've had a chance to establish the relationship dynamic between me and the new person. I would consider any of my partners crossing this boundary to be a type of cheating.

[–] June@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

yep, polyamory has redefined cheating for me and it's much more grounded now than it used to be. cheating is breaking established agreements. in a monogamous relationship that's typically defined as infidelity. in ENM it can be just about anything and it might be different with each and every partner. the key aspect is that there's a mutual agreement and that agreement was violated.

[–] Lesrid@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Serial monogamy. Each partnership is between two people but a person may seek multiple partnerships simultaneously or in sequence.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

First world urbanites for sure, but as far as I can tell there's many that are pretty poor by that standard, as queer people often are. I guess I know less about the circumstances of their birth.

[–] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm guessing rising costs of living may push some young people to poly lifestyles where a polycule lives together and shares bills

[–] Traegs@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That sounds like roommates with extra sex- I mean steps.

[–] June@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Depends on the setup. Triads are groups of three people all in a relationship with each other and in a relationship together. So there’s a total of 4 relationships to manage: relationship AB, BC, AC, nd ABC. Quads are the same but with 4 people and 7 relationships.

So it’s a bit more involved than roommates with extra sex. But yea also roommates with extra sex too.

[–] mim@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Sounds like a full time job. Must be exhausting.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

[–] June@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

Yep. It’s not easy and a lot of people think it’s some amazing relationship goal and when they get there they realize it’s not for them and people get hurt. It’s relationships on hard mode.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It'll probably be a factor, but then you could do the same with roommates, and the historical pattern is of course multi-generational homes. That's what I see happening more and more in real life - it's becoming less unusual to live with parents as an adult.