this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2023
275 points (100.0% liked)
Gaming
30561 readers
203 users here now
From video gaming to card games and stuff in between, if it's gaming you can probably discuss it here!
Please Note: Gaming memes are permitted to be posted on Meme Mondays, but will otherwise be removed in an effort to allow other discussions to take place.
See also Gaming's sister community Tabletop Gaming.
This community's icon was made by Aaron Schneider, under the CC-BY-NC-SA 4.0 license.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I agree, but you're asking people to stop being people - and also removing the context of 'dating' from the equation.
Dating is work. First dates in particular are very much about first impressions - they're not getting to know you on a deep level yet, they're trying to build a quick profile to decide if doing so is even worth it. Such a process is all about assumptions, and anybody that claims it isn't is not being honest with themselves.
I agree that as a couple get to know each other more, both of them should share their genuine interests with each other. It's not about games being wrong or having to pretend you don't like them (authenticity is important for building anything long-term).
But it's recognising that they don't look good in an interpersonal resumé, which is what the dating process is.
Add in OP's demographic (47y man, seeking women), and gender roles in dating (men are initiators and women are selectors), which are still very entrenched in older generations. Men are expected to approach, escalate, and demonstrate what they offer her; women are expected to select from the many who approach them and assess if their intentions are positive or negative, if he'd make her life easier or harder.
Both genders have harmful expectations in dating: he is thirsty in the desert, she is drowning in the lake; they struggle to relate to each other's roles or even covet them.
I bring this up because men in particular have additional pressure to have a really good resumé because it will be the make-or-break that decides if somebody with options will return interest. Video games have a stigma that make them a bad choice to put in a highlighted position on your proverbial resumé. You want your most impressive, relevant, or interesting answers at the forefront, and it looks bad if you don't have any.
(It's also entirely possible that 'liking video games' is not the real reason he is struggling with dating, but because the initial reaction he receives is often dismissive, he believes that it is.)
I mean, I'm an ugly bugger as well, maybe that's counting against me 😂