this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2023
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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by shapis@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
 

I have a few questions on how to best behave to be as welcoming and inclusive as possible without sounding bad. I hope you guys don't hate me.

I'm just a straight male. Are my pronouns he/him? Is that how I should tell people? Do you actually tell them as you meet them ? Do I have to wait for a certain social cue ?

How about online. Should I tell people or have it on my personal profile somewhere?

And about respecting other people's pronouns. How do i figure them out ? Is it a big faux pas if I don't before I know them ? Is it a faux pas if I refer to someone I just met and I assumed to be male as he/him?

I've never seen anyone referring to anyone irl by non conventional pronouns. Is it an actual thing or is it currently being pushed to make the world a more inclusive place?

I'd love some help with all of this.

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[–] wintermute_oregon@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I don’t tell people my pronouns. I’m male. I look male. I act male.

I appreciate when people are questionable or want to use different pronouns tell.

I equally appreciate when people don’t ask mine.

[–] TankieCatgirl@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can you explain what it means to look and act male? And why you don't like having people ask yours?

[–] wintermute_oregon@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

In 6’2, 225 pounds with about 10% body fat. I look like a man. I act like a man. Nobody has confused me for anything but a man.

It’s rude as it implies I don’t look or act like a man.

It’s why women are drawn to me. As my gf says, I wanted you because you’re all man. My last gf said the same thing.

[–] posthexbearposting@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

How you look doesn't make you a man. You could literally have all those physical traits and be a woman or non-binary.

Why is it rude to confirm how you self identify? Is it that horrible being trans or non-binary that people shouldn't even confirm that you're cis? How do you think trans people feel when someone assumes their gender based on how they look?

shitposting


Wow we got the manliest man man over here! Women love him and he gets all the pussy!

[–] wintermute_oregon@lemm.ee 0 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I explained why troll and don’t use the term cis. It’s offensive. I don’t identify as cis.

Shouldn’t you have asked if I identify as cis or did you just assume I used the term cis?

See how quickly you just violated your own rules you tried to chastise me for?

So go troll somewhere else with your fake concern.

[–] posthexbearposting@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ofc the whinging about cis comes out. You're cis by the literal definition of the word. Get over it loser.

PIGPOOPBALLS

PIGPOOPBALLS

PIGPOOPBALLS

PIGPOOPBALLS

PIGPOOPBALLS

[–] wintermute_oregon@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank you for validating that you are just a concern troll.

Either people get to self-describe, or they do not. You really don't believe any of this, you just want to seem 'concerned'.

[–] posthexbearposting@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm not concerned. I'm just calling you out for being a moron and a transphobe. Your time will come lib. stalin-gun-1

[–] wintermute_oregon@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I am neither, but you violated your own rules in your first reply. It just shows you're a concern troll. Why is it that so many people from Hexbear think people won't see their BS when it's so obvious? I am neither a moron nor a transphobe. I am consistent, which is something you are not. So you are only here to troll. I will be blocking you now as I can't be bothered with trolls.

[–] rjs001@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 1 year ago

You’re comment is so obviously the actual troll. Read before you comment such ridiculous things

[–] posthexbearposting@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I explained why

saying you're offended by people not assuming you are a man implies it's bad to be a different gender, or trans/nb. Idk why you are so scared of people confirming your gender. You are the biggest ❄ on the planet and i cannot wait until you melt.

[–] rjs001@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think you are the troll. You simply seem like a cis guy who (due to some discomfort) is trying way too hard to ensure everyone knows “I am a CIS MAN”

[–] wintermute_oregon@lemm.ee -1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nice Sockpuppet.

I have no discomfort, and thank you for all the baseless personal attacks. Way to go offtopic to prove you are a troll.

[–] rjs001@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 1 year ago

I have 1.9k comments. How many sockpuppets have you seen that have 1.9k comments? Your arguments are just silly

[–] Shinhoshi@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 1 year ago

I don’t identify as cis.

So you’re trans, then?

[–] posthexbearposting@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm 6'3, 250lbs, 6% bf and non-binary. Also my xad could beat up your dad

[–] MaoWasRight@lemm.ee 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm sorry. You may be getting it all wrong because right now you just sound like and are acting like a big ol pussy.

[–] TankieCatgirl@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

Gonna have to call out the misogyny of calling someone a "pussy".

[–] wintermute_oregon@lemm.ee 0 points 1 year ago

Thanks. You appear to have yourself confused with someone who matters.

[–] idiomaddict@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can’t imagine asking someone, that feels so rude. I just use they/them for most people. I would worry that asking would set any transphobes off while also being a tiny kernel of “I don’t pass” to trans people.

[–] wintermute_oregon@lemm.ee -2 points 1 year ago

I hate guessing. Normally it’s obvious.

If it’s questionable. Most will offer unless they’re looking for drama.

I have a client who goes by they. I see I don’t do they. They asked me to use whatever I want they matches how they’re expressing. Perfect. They volunteered it when we met.

I try to accommodate everyone. It’s just manners. I just can do they. I screw it up.