this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2023
142 points (86.2% liked)

Asklemmy

43833 readers
927 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
Cloak@lemmy.ml
mekhos@lemmy.ml
tmpod@lemmy.pt
14specks@lemmy.ml
142
Is it wrong for 25M to date 19F? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by MTK@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
155 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

So I met this girl by chance and we really hit it off, once I learned of her age I decided to just be friends as I think that 19 to 25 is an age were we mature a lot and I remember myself as a 19yo and I was not mature enough to be a good partner and to be good to myself.

I talked to a female friend of mine and she said that I'm over thinking it and that I should ask her out and be open minded, and so I did and we are going on a date soon.

The thing is, she seems really mature but I can't put aside the age gap.

Am I over thinking it? Should I really just take it slow and just be vigilant about the situation and notice if this isn't healthy for me or her?

Or should I let her down easy and continue as friends?

Update: We went on a date and it was great, I read all of the comments and there were some really good advices that I took to heart. I will take things slow and try to be as aware of the situation as possible. I hope it will go well :)

Thank you everyone!

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] MrPoopyButthole@lemm.ee 56 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm turning 31 this year, and my girlfriend is 25.

We've been together six years now. I didn't realize she was still 18 until the end of our first date, and she caught that I was visibly startled by it.

I owned up that I didnt realize and assumed from our interactions that she was at least 20-22 and she laughed and apologized, saying she thought I knew her age.

After going home and thinking about how well we hit it off, and how she found my concern amusing, I decided I was being silly and that if the age gap was a problem it would make itself evident.

Best decision ever. Nothing wrong with paying attention to those things, just keep open communication with each other ๐Ÿ‘

[โ€“] MrPoopyButthole@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'll also note that I had skipped college and had been working, and was about to go back to school. She was about to start her second year in college.

There are multiple ways people can find themselves on the same path and there was some serendipity for sure.

To the point of many other people here, yes, over the next five years she is going to evolve more than you as a person. So just understand going that growing apart is more likely than if you were both in your 30's.

Nothing wrong with that, just a reality to acknowledge.

[โ€“] ashok36@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Did you ever get your degree, Mr Poopybutthole?

[โ€“] oleorun@lemmy.fan 5 points 1 year ago

Master of Sharts in Colonial Studies