this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2023
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During my grade six year (1992) I noticed when we would take turns reading pages from our english class novel that nearly every person was unable to comprehend, pronounce and read clearly.
I would finish the books in a day and have to go slowly through it with the class for the next two weeks watching people that were obviously barely literate reading the same books.
This was my experience in school too. I had no issues with reading and had to watch all my classmates in every grade fucking struggle like hell.
the worst was reading outloud and now I have panic attacks and I remember my first panic attack so clearly. I was asked to read out loud in class, and I did so well at reading outloud that the next time someone else was asked, someone wanted me to read instead and then teacher was of course like no, we all need to learn how to read outloud - so when it was my turn to read out loud again, I fucking flipped out. Couldn't breath normally, started panicking and crying and screaming.
And now I hate reading out loud. And I have gone through lots of therapy and no one has ever been able to help with my panic attacks. Well, outside of "here take these pills that have tons of side effects that will also ruin your life"
Do you know if the trigger is pressure, stress, too much unwanted attention, etc?
I'm pretty sure it's unwanted attention. I no longer have the panic attacks when reading out loud but now I have them for other things, like usually something bad is happening and I have an audience for it.