Men's Liberation
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
- Build upon the OP
- Discuss concepts rather than semantics
- No low effort comments
- No personal attacks
Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
!feminism@beehaw.org
!askmen@lemmy.world
!mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world
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I think you're understating it. While the op was pretty painless. The wound care can be a little stressful.
It is a permanent procedure and one really needs to consider if they are happy to go that route. Reversals have a high reversal failure rate that get worse over time. Can not be counted upon. Even if you freeze sperm, IVF is never a guarantee, and not all women are comfortable with it.
Of course, I did this, and absolutely have no regrets. Probably one of the better decisions I have made. Anxiety has gone, and I feel somewhat safe.
I didn't really want to take the permanent route, but had no other choice the was safe. Condom failure rate is high, and trust in regards to other methods is just too much. You want to have full control over your reproduction.
Most (good) urologists offer "no-scalpel" vasectomies these days - the incision is extraordinarily small, requires no stitches, heals quickly, and with a bare minimum amount of care (relax for a weekend, and daily cleaning and applying an antibiotic gel) you should be healed up in 7-10 days. Yes, you still need contraception for 6 to 8 weeks (until the tests come back clear) but after that, it's smooth sailing.
I had a no scalpel vasectomy. My wound took about 3 weeks for me to feel comfortable. I had doubts after 2 weeks, but it eventually got there. They don't unnecessarily give out antibiotics here. It was a case of water to clean and keep it dry. I ended up using antiseptic cleaning fluid for the last week or so.
Here in the UK, they say 12 weeks minimum, and the test for all clear is after 16 weeks, but that's probably a little safer and in these situations, I ain't taking any gambles. Imagine knocking someone up 9 weeks after a vasectomy. Could be soul destroying.
It was literally the leat painful doctor visit I've had. Laid flat on my back for a day, and then I was running around like normal two days later. Before I got the surgery done people were telling me how horrible I'd be feeling and I'd never enjoy sex again, and I wonder where so many people got such bad info.
The stories you got were extreme, but mine was no walk in the park either.
I had to request more anaesthetic during the procedure because I could feel way too much of what was happening. That was endurable but extremely unpleasant.
Recovery wise I was up and walking around relatively normally after 3 days or so. A week to feel mostly normal doing day to day tasks. A month before I felt really actually normal. 6 months before the scar was totally healed.
It seems extreme to suggest you'd never enjoy sex again. If that were true what would be the point of the procedure? It was two weeks or so before we gave it a go, and it was great.
One weird thing with mine is that my first two samples came back positive. So I waited an extra two months then went in again and finally the tests came back negative.
Anyway my point isn't to discount what you're saying. But I think it's important to have as much anecdotal info out there as possible. The only regret I have is that they offered me a valium before the surgery and I turned it down. No idea why I did that but I'm sure my nervousness contributed to how stressful the whole ordeal was and that could have been avoided had it not been for my own hubris.