this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
155 points (99.4% liked)
Asklemmy
43852 readers
940 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Imo it's really the only way to handle it and not go either full psycho narcissist or insane pressure burnout. But learning that humility took me a few tries, ngl. Also, it's not a really googleable problem and even genuinely complaining about it sounds like humblebragging to many people. Because in the end, it is a very good thing and a privilege, but boy I've had some stressful times with it.
(Well, I must say, you mentioned you're not a native English speaker, but you could fool anyone because your English is crazy good - what is your native language?)
I agree, it's a real strength and something you can learn to control and use when you need it. It has definitely led to burnout situations for me in the past. For me, I think that comes from wanting to meet the expectations I feel I've set, but I've struggled to differentiate between expectations that I'm setting for myself vs. what others actually expect. My entire life I've worked harder than needed, most likely. Does this sound familiar to you? It's definitely led to some success for me that I don't feel is really deserved, but I'm learning to be a little more grateful for it these days :)
Thank you. That's what years of reddit and hating dubbed media will do for you :) my native language is German, and we do start learning English here pretty early in life. When I was young, we started at 8, but today it's sometimes even earlier. But sadly since I'm out of school my speaking skills are a little rusty, since I don't practice them enough.
Yes, I definitely felt that because of the expectations they had, i had to go the extra mile every time or I'd be worse than someone fulfilling already low expectations. But inevitably, you cannot go the extra mile all the time, so you ket some things slide, and they snowball and then you need to work extra extra hard to keep things from spinning out.
But then, many people's success is earned through way shadier means than "working harder than needed".