I'm bi, but my appearance is pretty queer coded such that cis-het people tend to read me as "unclear gay or just tech-nerd punk". I've found that when I use the word partner, it can throw people off because they're clearly fishing for my partner's gender in a "I can't tell whether this person is straight or gay" way. Most of the people I've dated have been men, but I do like the chaos energy of the confusion