this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2023
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Making close friends as an adult (beehaw.org)
submitted 1 year ago by emeraldheart@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org
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Hi everyone! I'm in my late 20s and I've been reminiscing on my young adult life and what I like/don't like. One point that has been coming up for me is close, vulnerable friendships. I used to have a few friends who I was very close to a few years ago, who I could talk to about deep life stuff, big emotions, vulnerable feelings and worries, and also just enjoy time together discussing silly/serious media or the world.

I have since lost these friends, one way or another. Some simply drifted, some left in a flurry of drama and hurt feelings. I thankfully kept some friends, but a lot of them have been lost.

Despite the volatility of those friendships, there was something I was getting from them that I really needed and still need. I think that need is simply the human desire for close companionship. I have a partner, and he's wonderful; he's not particularly feel-y however, and my friends aren't either. I think I need more emotionally-vulnerable people.

My question is this... How does one make these friends as an adult? In fact, how does one make any friends as an adult? I'm finding myself not knowing how to proceed and find other emotional folk. Any advice would be appreciated. <3

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[–] Ignacio@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

Things are even more difficult when you're an adult, you've ADHD and you've Aspergers. That's my case. I was diagnosed last November, and until then my behaviour was very unstable and annoying. I lost friends because of that, although those people didn't behave exactly like friends to me. Nonetheless, I've still some traits that make me a difficult person to hang out with, even under treatment, and it sucks.