this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2023
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There is a kid in one of my gaming groups who mentioned off-hand earlier this year that he believes a lot of what Andrew Tate says is valid and that men should "reject modernity and embrace masculinity". I think took us all a little by surprise because he's a smart kid who doesn't come off as an obvious alpha male type at all. We had to figuratively sit him down and explain why Tate is full of shit and that his whole schtick is just preying on young men who lack guidance, as is the case with many of these MRA grifters. I don't know this kid personally so I can't say for sure if we had any effect on him, but I hope that we were able to demonstrate that all that bullshit is not actually relevant to manhood at all. I know he looks up to a few of us in particular, due to our high level of skill and experience with this particular game, so I hope the fact that those role models (of sorts) took the time to talk to him about this stuff actually had a positive influence on the way he views himself and others.
I think it's really helpful when the quieter men speak up and demonstrate that there is another way. The idiots are always the loudest by default, so young men and boys are naturally drawn to them due to the vacuum that exists in this area. As I get older I definitely feel like I have more of a responsibility to make sure younger people around me, particularly men and boys, are going down the right path or are at least aware that there are alternatives. In certain male-dominated spaces, like team sports or social media, I definitely see and hear a lot of problematic behaviour and messaging that just goes unchecked.
Hell yes, young men need this. Else they wouldn't fall for Tate and similar grifters.
I'll bet you guys made a big impact on the kid. You at least got him closer to a happier healthier life than he otherwise would have been.
If we did make an impact, the bulk of the credit would definitely go to some of the other guys who made more of an effort than I did. I find it difficult to speak up in those situations, since it can be very challenging if I don't feel like an authoritative figure to the person. Usually I just try to lead by example, which can be helpful too but isn't always what is needed. Sometimes you need someone to be brave and stand up without knowing if anyone else in the room will support them.