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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/garlicknots12 on 2023-08-10 01:19:59.
So this is an ongoing problem for the last couple years. My sister has two kids, and she likes to come visit and basically use my house as a hotel so she can take her kids to various theme parks in San Diego. I'm fine with that for the most part.
My problem is that my sister has very different parenting ideas than I would like in my home. She isn't big on discipline, and has gotten upset with me when I tell her kids to stop doing things. For example, I have glass doors in my house going into the laundry room, and on one visit, my nephew (then 6m, now 7m) was slamming the glass doors as hard as he could, and I was worried they would break. I admittedly freaked out a little and snapped at him not to play with the doors, and my sister got upset and told me he was fine.
Her kids were better behaved when they came to visit last week, but her son has one habit that annoys me. Her son (who btw is not neurodivergent, they've taken him to multiple doctors and been told he is neurotypical) refuses to eat multiple things on the same plate. For example, say we made spaghetti, and had a side salad and bread, he would demand a plate for each thing, so three plates. He'd also demand two different forks for the spaghetti and salad, as well as a seperate plate and fork for dessert. I always buy paper and plastic dishes when they visit, and after four days they'd used up all the paper plates because of his little quirk, and so when we were having cheesecake amd he demanded another plate especially for the cake, there wasn't another paper plate for him. Personally I'm uncomfortable with the kids using real dishes, and so I said he'd just have to use one of his other plates, or not have dessert, which made my sister shoot me a dirty look, say it's fine, and go get him a real plate. She said I was the same way when I was his age (I really don't think that is true, at least to this extent).
I do not feel like my sister should be the one making these rules in my home. Yes it's her kid, but I'm the one paying for the food, the dishes, and to live here.
Aita if I tell my sister I don't want them visiting anymore unless her children follow the rules I set for my home?
It doesn't matter whether her parenting is true or you were same when you were young. This is your house, those are your possessions; you can do whatever the fuck you want with them, and tell others how to use them or dont use them. So you are not the asshole, indeed your sister seem to be the asshole with still coming to your house like a barfaced even though you are not getting on well with her children.
But if you say that you don't want them anymore if they don't obey your rules she is probably going to piss off considering her barefacedness.