this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
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Fuck family are annoying. Mum still refuses to do some ten minute reads about having a trans kid so she still treats me like a fucking man. My son was asked to house sit for my sister for a fortnight, so she just plonked herself along. Now I can't stand to see her because it fucks with my head so I'm missing quality son time, which I've been missing a lot, cos he's terrible at messaging, but super present when we spend time together. He was the first person to know I'm trans and has been awesome.
Mum called me daddy yesterday and has a very, you're a certain aged person when I was excitedly showing them how my baldness is receding, I've told her a dozen fucking times I'm a 14 year old girl mentally right now. Can you please show the same sensitivity? Acceptance of my new superficialities are nowhere near enough. Her and my sister have been very no, you tell us what you're going through, even though I've explained multiple times that it's painful to talk about the insensitivities they show. There's so much support around for families of trans people, I've given them the advice and showed them how to access it. As I've stated again, multiple times, if I had autism or was blind, they'd be across it of their own volition, but this all comes across like they think I have some kind of choice over this. I've had so many shitty experiences with being trans in the last month and it's starting taking a toll.
Journal entry no 311 dated 8/8/23 kthxbye
but you don't have the life experience or education of a 14 year old girl, this experience may be new to you but you have context and a grown up brain
just be you , big hugs ,
your mum will come around, she's had fewer hours of contact time with you than you've had, you have 24/24, she has maybe a few hours a week
This is true, but I have almost no experience in dealing with female emotions, a noticeable cycle and the daily stresses of being misgendered, laughed at. I'm starting to hate the straight world. So many people say they're allies, but they really don't get it. Pronouns are a good start but most people ultimately won't try too hard. Which is fair enough, everyone has their own shit going on. Lots of gays and cis queers don't get it either and a lot of trans people gatekeep it and pick at others, generally projecting their own insecurities or expressing their envy toward the fact I've never shied away from indulging my femininity and they became toxic males to mask their own internalised transphobia.
My baseline happiness is a lot better than a year ago and I am making a lot of good choices now, due to yes, life experience and because I finally feel like I own my body.
Super big hugs. It's never nice to be one of the hated. 🤗
I don't feel hated. I feel deserted.
sounds like your kid is a good one - you've done good there, right on.
Put your foot down, seriously. 'cos she's not gonna change unless you drop a very large ACME-style anvil on her head.
I mean I have, a few times now. Asked her to please reach out to other parents of trans kids. She doesn't think it will help, but if she refuses again, I'll take a leaf out of my sister's book and find other people to talk to.
It sucks absolute arse, but sometimes you realise you're looking for orange juice at the hardware store
I'm sending warm positive loving vibes in your direction because this stuff is infuriating and hurtful for you and sad. If there's one person in your life who should be accepting and making an effort to understand it's your mum. She should take a leaf out of your son's book by the sound of it.
I've told her again, she said she read something and will be better. I've asked her what she read and told her I can't keep getting the point of exhaustion and frustration. I spelled this out very clearly a couple of months ago and have put noticeable distance between us in the meantime. Time will tell.