this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2023
189 points (98.0% liked)

Asklemmy

43816 readers
1209 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Hey, so.. I may be in this situation soon, and I may just be in over my head here, but I'm a sucker who really couldn't say no to this.

This kid took care of his grandmother as she deteriorated and finally died. He was there when it happened. She had a degenerative disease and the kid's mom left him with her so she could "babysit" him, when in reality, this kid was the only one looking after her. His parent is a working single mom, so it's really not her fault, but, like.. damn.

The kid is 8 years old.

Kid's dad is just gone. Disappeared. Has been since he was tiny.

He sometimes is watched over by his aunt, but she & the nieces just literally ignore him. He says that he just sat quietly on the couch for days. They fed him and whatever, but that family has their own batshit fuckery going on. Not mentally stable, tbh. The aunt is very hostile and I think he is scared of her.

He's one of my in-law's kids (whom I don't even know well), but, like.. holy shit. He and his mom now live in the deceased grandmother's house, but she now has no one to watch over him. He has been going to work with her and being told to sit quietly and do not much else. They're now almost an hour away from his school, so he may lose that part of his stability, too.

Again.. he's 8. And holy shit, kid barely talks. He's so well-behaved and meek, it actually alarms me greatly. He used to hang out with my brother's kids, but my brother moved out of state. He came back this week and was asked to watch over the kid while he and his kids were in town. This is when I've most recently reconnected with the kid, but I've met him before when my brother was still in town.

I have room in my home. I'm a single parent, too, but I'm fortunate to work from home and have a kid who's 12 who could hang out, play video games with him, take him to the park, and whatever. I'm close to his school. I don't have much right now, but, like.. fuck, I want to give this kid a good, loving space, stability, and get him into therapy, for fucks sake.

I don't give a shit about what your opinion of the mom is. I met her like twice. I also don't plan to adopt this kid or anything (unless it really comes to that but that's not a thing right now since he obviously has a parent), but I just need advice on how I should navigate this.

Medical needs? Can I get him into therapy without trouble? Will I need the parent's permission? What should I ask her for? I'm not sure she'd be okay giving me his documents if this is temporary, but FUCK there's a lot to do. I want to do something right for this kid.

Help? Please?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Damn, that hurts to read that, but you're right.

I have a bazillion books at my place (for every age group.. do 8-year olds still like "Magic Tree House"..?), art supply, board games, cards, and those kinda things.

I'm sure he'll be happy to do literally anything, tbh. Poor kid seems to feel guilty for simply existing. Fuckin' hate to see it.

[–] mysteriouswineglass@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I loved Magic Tree House at his age! That’s exactly what I was thinking—MTH is wonderful for escapism. If you can get him onto something that exercises his mind, that’s the ideal, hence my drawing, reading, and chess suggestions—anything he can sustain in isolation and when low on funds or access to shops.

Edit: magic tricks if he’s dexterous!

Unfortunately his mother is still his guardian, so she may very well one day pick up and leave with him. In that situation, at least he’ll have the skills to keep growing his interest(s) and entertain himself.