this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2023
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Very much on point, and this is where the age-old tension between "a duty to come out" versus "a right to choose if and when" remains still relevant.
I do not want to take the position that there is such a duty, but I have to admit that I'm uneasy that our 2010s-present queer media does not even acknowledge the tension.
I think we should normalize referring to people who are straight but haven't explicitly told people they're straight as not having "come out" as straight. It's a heteronormative bias. If anything we actually don't know if they're straight. More importantly, I think it helps illustrate the bizarre nature of the "duty to come out" as you call it.
Jfc this one drives me nuts.
Number of times I've been party to conversations where the prevailing attitude was that because someone didn't announce themselves as gay, then they couldn't possibly be gay.
"Were you talking about sexuality at any point?"
"Had they been attracting the interest of the opposite sex, or same sex for that matter?"
"Was there any conversation or non-verbal interaction where their sexuality might have been vaguely relevant?"
"Did you declare your own sexuality to them?"
"Yeah, but that's different!"
Fuckers never can explain what they think is different about it, funnily enough.
See also: straight people getting in a lather because a gay person is flirting with someone of the opposite sex.