this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2024
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[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 76 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

imagine going to jail because you just couldn't stand the thought of not having the "best goat," whatever the fuck that means. and no, if you know what that means, don't tell me--i refuse to have that information wasting space in my brain

[–] Gork@lemm.ee 48 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

Rip in peace poisoned goat of all time goat.

[–] brygphilomena@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Gork@lemm.ee 5 points 2 weeks ago

The best part is that it's recursive, like GNU.

[–] Hubi@feddit.org 33 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Vanlandingham confessed to police that she deliberately poisoned the goat because she believed the animal’s owner was “a cheater”

How do you even cheat with a goat? The whole thing is ridiculous.

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 43 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

being in america, it's apparent that there are a large number of people (especially in red states) for whom part of the strategy is to accuse everyone else of cheating, all the time, no matter what.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago
[–] TotalFat@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago

I'm not saying they're all the same, but 100% of the Vanlandingham's I have met in Texas have been rotten to the core. Real sociopaths. Smiling and friendly all while planting a knife in your back. And yes there's more than one example in my weird little anecdote. They eat their own children! (figuratively)

[–] synae@lemmy.sdf.org 16 points 2 weeks ago

How do you even cheat with a goat?

Poisoning the opposition goats, I think

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 14 points 2 weeks ago

Steroids, perhaps? Do they judge how hard a goat can headbutt things? I don’t friggin’ know. Never mind.

[–] peto@lemm.ee 10 points 2 weeks ago

I severely hope the best goat is the one that commits the most crimes at the fair.

[–] Steve@startrek.website 6 points 2 weeks ago

Tell me you never attended a rural high school

[–] protist@mander.xyz 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 21 points 2 weeks ago

just as absurd as all the other bullshit animal contests that judge "contestants" based on completely arbitrary physical characteristics which lead to severely inbred, sick, miserable animals

people are so fucking stupid

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 3 points 2 weeks ago

Why do I find out about these things just after Christmas? Birthday it is, then!