this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2023
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A small group of people were offended by a joke that unintentionally came across transphobic, and as a result this persons account was blacklisted. Even after getting the account reinstated, there were lasting complications with the state of the account (these probably technical issues) and the account was basically lost for good.

The 9th paragraph is where the incident is discussed.
What do yall think of this?

I've definitely been misunderstood myself, and it kinda sucks to think that my account could be lost for good due to a few reports, hasty banning, and some bug in the software.

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[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (4 children)

In general, I consider myself fairly open-minded, I have no issues with the LGBTQ+ community and find it infuriating that the Trans community especially is being targeted by Republicans. It’s obvious they’re being made into scapegoats to get Republican voters to the polls. They’re exploiting people’s misunderstandings and fear for political gain.

HOWEVER, I think the Trans community is its own worst enemy at times, due to their excessively heavy-handed tactics online and this constant drumbeat of accusing anything under the sun as being transphobic, no matter the actual intent. There’s no attempt to educate or help people understand, it’s just bringing the ban hammer, reporting transphobia, accusing people of bigotry, for relatively mild and innocuous comments or actions.

This situation could’ve been resolved by somebody just saying, “Hey that term ‘tranny’ is offensive, you shouldn’t say that,” to which the poster would’ve responded with their background and everyone would realize it was just a joke from someone who was obviously not a bigot. The country is still coming to terms with the Trans community “entering the mainstream”, it’s all new and not everyone knows what’s acceptable (poster probably should’ve known, but probably thought people would know him better). I get that they’re under attack, but the Trans community could afford to chill out online and not go on the attack at the slightest perceived provocation, else they’re gonna start turning people against them.

[–] dreadgoat@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

This is a tale as old as time. Oppressed groups are naturally conditioned to be hyper-defensive per the oppression they face, which results in lashing out against neutral parties, which comes back to haunt the oppressed group as oppressors can now point as their "inherent evil" and sometimes even the neutral parties will say "hmm maybe they ARE all crazy" and become oppressors themselves. In this case it's not even a neutral party, but someone who is part of the oppressed group theirself, being ostracized by their own community.

I'm reminded of the time that Contrapoints (Natalie Wynn, a veritable transgender icon) got cannibalized by the very community she seeks to advocate for because she confessed that the pronoun dance that happens in inclusive spaces can feel like a step backward for a newly passing trans person who wants nothing more than to be supportive of others, but simultaneously wants nothing more than to naturally and intuitively be referred to by their preferred pronoun without needing the dance. If even the champions of the community are going to be eviscerated for not treading lightly enough, what hope is there of recruiting allies from normie-space?

[–] brain_pan@infosec.pub 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

imo, I can totally understand parts of the trans community not wanting to have to teach people to respect them (people not respecting you as a person by default fucking sucks, and it's understandable that you'd find it not worth your energy and fucking ridiculous that you have to teach people that you're a person)

so, I can see why OP got immediately banned, especially since they legit said a slur in a shit joke that, with said slur, could have come off as weirdly fetishizing; many people in marginalized communities don't really like having to go through someone's post that comes off bigoted to "figure out if they meant to say something bigoted on purpose or in a bad way" for obvious reasons

hopefully OP realized why they blacklisted them so quickly

[–] WhoRoger@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

could have come off as weirdly fetishizing

Another trap one can easily fall to even for just being friendly

don't really like having to go through someone's post

If you're gonna accuse someone of something, then yes you better make some effort to be reasonably sure. This is the other side of vigilantism people don't like hearing about - accusing everyone of being evil and making everyone just walk on tiptoes around you isn't really the outcome you want, it will eventually come around and bite you in the ass.

Reporting everything and leaving the police/mods sort it out only works if those police/mods aren't overly trigger-happy to shoot you on sight.

[–] WhoRoger@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

It's like with most people really. The majority just wants to live their lives in peace, but there's that small group of militant assholes that make life difficult for everybody.

In this case, they also happen to belong to a disadvantaged group, so in addition to being assholes, they can also accuse other random people of just about anything, and you can't really say anything against them.

The only possible end result of this is that it will blow up, nobody will be happy and the wave of sympathy can even turn around. Like Amber Heard killed the whole MeToo movement, but it was on its last legs already due to similar shitty people.

[–] Pandoras_Can_Opener@mander.xyz 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wait what? Tranny is offensive? But Kim Petras tweeted about being a tranny with a Grammy. This non binary person is confused.

[–] darq@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Referring to oneself as a slur is usually not viewed the same way as referring to someone else with a slur. Doubly so if one doesn't belong to the group the slur targets.