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That's a very nice and healthy attitude to have. I'm really happy to hear it.
The memeing and clowning comes from a relatively reasonable place too tbh. It's incredible how many people will pop into hexbear, say something they don't know anything about, get defensive when people engage like how I engage with you and then call all of us bots or cry about civility when people start treating them how they're treating people. I've seen the term "wrecker" used to describe the behaviour. I think there's been a lot of wreckers, so people are just a bit agressive when they perceive people acting in bad faith. That means well-meaning people end up catching strays, which is really sad.
I came here from another comm some time ago and I had gotten the hexbear treatment too. Took a while to realise why I'd gotten it.