this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
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I think I’m at my wit’s end with “smart” things.
Roomba? It takes less time to just vacuum the place than it does for the fucking vacuum to realize it’s been humping the same chair leg for most of its battery charge.
Assistants?
“Hey Google, open the bedroom blinds”
“Sorry, that device hasn’t been configured yet”
“Hey Google, open the bedroom blinds”
“Sure, turning 2 lights on”
“Hey Google, open the bedroom blinds”
“Sure, opening the blinds”
I gave up on “smart” devices after giving them zero chances. I’ve never bought one.
I feel the same, but my anger is scoped to cloud-connected “smart” things.
Like you, I can’t stand my iRobot gear. My Roomba hasn’t updated its map in over a year because it always has “some problems” (probably due to pushing everything to the jank
us-east-1data center).On the other hand my recent Aqara gear is very nice but it took me time to finally call it quits on Z-Wave beforehand.
If you are willing to put in some work, Valetudo is fantastic: https://valetudo.cloud/
My two robot vacuums have been working for 5 years with no intervention other than emptying the bin every 2 weeks and dusting off the sensors when it complains.
Same as above, if you are willing to put in some work, Home Assistant includes a voice assistant and they ship devices now with everything preinstalled so you can plug in and go: https://www.home-assistant.io/green/
I consciously avoid having to control any of my smart home devices using voice or other weird methods. Everything is toggled with buttons or fully automatic. This works pretty well for me and voice control is still available but it’s only optional. Sure you might ask why even make it smart then? Because I’m a nerd and because I keep forgetting to turn lights off when I leave. Also smart thermostats are great.
Though I also gave up on my vacuum robot. Due to rearranging some furniture I had to move the vacuum base and let it rescan my apartment. But now for some reason it never gets past the dining room and aimlessly swirls around the table until the battery is dead, never finishing the room scan. On top of that it picked up a small pebble or something and scratched the floor. I had enough of it.
Smart-anything is just a dumb novelty design because rich techie users are about as wowed as dangling plastic toy keys infront of an infant. Nearly nothing is anymore useful when it becomes 'smart' and largely gets that title because of it's capability to connect to the internet and just become another app for data-farming services to nag you over.
These things are just also another way to rob people more money because they're going to have more models, the company is going to talk down to you for being filthy and not upgrading. You're going to spend a lot of time dealing with a lot of variables that people already have presented for having a smart device and this is where the argument of "old is always better" comes into play.