this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
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My therapist told me that family members can't be replaced. I disagree. They can be replaced. They only become titles but titles also can be ignored.
You don't have to associate with, acknowledge or interact with the biological family members if they've proven to have been a contractual mess of toxicity in your life.
I've replaced members of my 'real' family and I got better people. People who care and support. I recommend it, to anyone.
Yes, thankfully my therapist doesn't say that but she does seem to say it's all on me to deal with and change since I can't change them, which is fair.
Thankfully I have a few folks helping me escape them, but it's a slow process.
I finally blocked my mom's phone number earlier this month. It's only taken me 7 years since she blew up at me in a way she couldn't/wouldn't take back.
It can be a slow journey and you might question it as you go, but it's worthwhile. And more people than you might expect are estranged from their families. I used to worry that my IRL acquaintances and friends would judge me for it, but nope.