hi so i forgot to message the person who was next (sorry HelltakerHomosexual) so i'm just gonna talk about a thing i like
Shadow the Hedgehog is a character that appears in the Sonic the Hedgehog series. Characterized by his sharp wit and strong sense of purpose, Shadow is a recurrent arch-rival of Sonic the Hedgehog, whom he resembles and shares many abilities. He is a major supporter of trans people, as evidenced by his catchphrase, "Trans people are cool!"
^ this is all from the wiki btw
I like Shadow a lot. His first appearance in the series is in a game where him and Sonic are both fighting the government and destroying these multi-million dollar gunships. Sonic is doing it because he loves communism but Shadow is doing it because he has a blood feud against G.U.N., who are like the global government death squads because they killed this girl, Maria, who he was best friends with.
Maria basically had an incurable illness that Eggman's grandpa was trying to cure by creating an immortal lifeform, which is actually how Shadow was born. Also, Shadow has a copy of Maria's soul I guess? Seriously, look it up. I'm reading all this shit for the first time right now and that sounds kinda trans to me.
Anyway, she gets shot by the troops and despite Maria telling Shadow to be normal and happy, Eggman's grandpa is pissed off about it so he starts psyopping Shadow into wanting to kill everyone on Earth. Eggman's grandpa successfully does the psyop and locks Shadow away until Eggman finds and releases him.
With his newfound power, Shadow starts being evil and helping Eggman find the Chaos Emeralds because he sees him piss on the moon or something. This goes on for a while until he gets back on the space station and remembers what Maria said, deciding to finally be normal and happy.
He switches up, goes Hyper Shadow and helps Sonic defeat the Biolizard which is basically what it sounds like: a giant lizard who wears the space station like a little jacket and shoots lasers from his mouth. Also, that thing was the prototype Ultimate Lifeform before they decided on the optimal form of existence: a little bipedal anthro hedgehog.
So they beat this lizard up, I guess it dies and then the space station is hurtling toward the Earth. Shadow takes a Chaos Emerald and, with the help of Sonic, does one last Chaos Control on the space station, returning it to a stable altitude. Sonic finds himself back on the space station as he flies into the atmosphere. After this, a big semi-translucent Shadow appears on top of the Earth and everyone can see it.
Why would I lie about that? Here it is.
Anyway, a bunch of shit happens after that but I don't care about it. If someone else wants to talk about Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) feel free. What I really wrote this out to justify talking about is the moon in Sonic games. Like I said before, the moon gets pissed on and destroyed with the help of Shadow,
and then in the next game it's just fine but evil now(???)
and after THAT it's not evil anymore but it's fully intact:
What the fuck? Why? How? I watched it get blown up. Who put the moon back together? Anyway, we're getting in the weeds here. Welcome to the mega.
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sexuality, anxiety, HRT
Seeing a lot of people here saying that they weren't attracted to men before HRT, but now they are (some exclusively), and it really freaks me out.If E made me not attracted to my wife anymore, I couldn't handle it--literally panicking just thinking about it. It makes me not even want to try it, tbh.
One of the only reasons I decided to try HRT was because @kristina@hexbear.net once said that sexual preference shifts are statistically unlikely.
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I don't think it will actually shift anything. It's more like it highlights things that people may not have realized were there before. For me, I've always known that I've wanted a feminine presence in a relationship. This naturally meant I was straight, and I assumed I would exclusively be a lesbian after transition. However, I've realized that I could play the role of the feminine presence, that is now me, so while I would say that I like masculinity now as well, that doesn't mean my love for femininity and androgyny have gone away. Being able to change what role I play in a relationship has changed how I see relationships, and even then, this is all theory. I have no praxis to speak of, I don't know how well ANY of these claims would hold up in a real relationship, because honestly I could be ace (more likely) or aroace (less likely) and just want some close friends (which I've never really had), I have literally no clue, and I haven't gotten to put my thoughts into praxis yet.If you are attracted to your wife, you will still be attracted to your wife, especially if you are satisfied with the relationship. If you realize you might like other people as well, that may have already been there, but I don't think it would change how you see your wife. Don't let this stop you from trying E, and if it was doing things you didn't like, you could always just stop it. Also, I don't know if it was the E that necessarily did it, but me beginning to realize dynamics between the masculinity of others and the femininity of myself. Just adding that in there, because I feel like what happened with me would have happened with or without HRT.
some sex stuff
Things are just changing so seemingly quickly that it's kind of scary sometimes.What you say about roles is interesting because there are some connections with me. Actually, after experimenting I don't really like fulfilling the feminine role. I prefer the masculine role, I just want a feminine body. In fact, since transition, I prefer the masculine role more than I ever did as a guy. Although, to be honest, these categories have kind of just started to melt for me.
As a guy, I considered myself bi. Since transition, I'm less attracted to men in general. In fact, I'm less attracted to the physicality of sex all together, and I'm feeling more explicitly demisexual. As a guy, sex was like 80% physical, 20% emotional. Since transition, the ratio has flipped.
Things are moving in a direction I like, but, like I said, the changes give me anxiety and I don't know what the final destination is
some sex stuff
Slightly off-topic, but I relate to this experience a lot. Before transition, I had always thought I was demisexual, but I did not feel like it at all. It made me feel a little miserable, like my mind wanted one thing and my body another. Now, I would definitely say I'm demisexual, and potentially asexual as well, and it feels more like mind and body are in sync. Speaking of which...
This actually reminded me of something. HRT could impact libido, especially if you were to take a T blocker like Spiro or CPA (Bica circumvents the libido issue). I would say more than that, but any other thoughts I have are just semi-theoretical personal experiences. I'm sure there are other people here who would have more to say on this topic, and are more knowledgeable than I.
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Preferably, I'd like to do mono therapy.
My sex drive is already comparatively low. I really wouldn't mind if it dipped some more.
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There shouldn't be any issues at that point then! Hopefully mono-therapy works for you.Yeah, I don't like needles, but I think I'd prefer it to taking an AA.
Nuke that T!