this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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Background:

I'm in my 40s and I've always sort of beaten myself up over not being an avid reader. I go through phases where I read a bunch, sometimes I'll finish a book in a months time, sometimes start a book and forget it, sometimes it seems like I go literally years without really getting into any book at all. But I still accumulate them.

Because of how important reading is and now I "fail" to prioritize it, I've always found myself in a poor relationship with reading. I feel this artificial pressure to read things that are only important and will somehow make me more useful. I feel this artificial pressure to start one book and read it to the end. I feel this artificial pressure to become a changed person by fully investing every bit of info from every book.

I've been learning that these pressures are untenable.

I've also noticed that I partake in all kinds of things without the same expectations: tv shows, games, podcasts, media and news outlets, social media, etc.

Right now I have 6 books that I am actively reading, and I am trying to remember that it's for enjoyment and not some high level goal. Someone told me if I read 10 pages a day I would finish about 10 books a year. I found this so encouraging.

Taking the pressure off of reading has really helped me get more productive at reading, and I think it will help me convert my habit into a truly fruitful one.

So now I ask you:

  • What are your reading habits like?
  • What do you like to read?
  • What kind of stage of life are you in, and how does that affect it?
  • Have you made any changes, positive or negative, to your reading habits?
  • What else?
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[–] sylphrin@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

What are your reading habits like?

I read like some people doomscroll - in bed when I'm supposed to be sleeping, when I'm eating my meals, on public transportation, while walking, on the toilet, waiting in line... Basically any time I'm not using my brain for anything else. If the book is interesting I'll find more excuses to pull out my Kindle, but at the very minimum I'll read in bed at the end of the day. It's not a goal or anything that I've pushed onto myself, it's just become habit to read myself to sleep, and I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. It was a real pain before I got a backlit Kindle - I'd fall asleep and leave the lamp on all night and lose my place if I was reading a physical book. I don't like to have more than 1 book going at once. 1 fiction and 1 non fiction is okay, but nothing more than that. If the book is a series, I'll pick up book 1 and continue all the way through the series back to back, and then go back to read spinoffs and prequels in whatever order makes the most sense. I also read all the books I can find from the same author in a similar fashion. If the series wasn't finished and a new book gets released after I've already read the rest of a series, I'll go back and read all of the books before it first. Being in-between books is a feeling I am very uncomfortable with, so I'm always in the middle of something. I will often keep reading books that I don't enjoy that much just as a stop-gap until I find the next series to get hooked on. It's a little psychotic now that I think about it.

What do you like to read?

Mostly sci-fi and fantasy novels, but I'll consume almost anything with interesting world building, mechanics/magic systems, or compelling characters. For non-fiction, I like things that teaches me how things work, usually astronomy or quantum mechanics. I've read some great books written from the perspective of physicists as they went through their journey of discovery.

What kind of stage of life are you in, and how does that affect it?

I'm 33, married, have a 4 year old, and work full time. I don't think it's affected my reading very much, I've been stealing reading time ever since I was a kid. Reading on the bus to school, reading walking around, reading during meals (drove my mother nuts), reading if I finished my work in class... I've always had my nose in a book. I have less time overall for reading now, but the way I do it is still the same.

Have you made any changes, positive or negative, to your reading habits?

I honestly cannot think of any changes I've made, but maybe I should consider some. Writing this post makes me realize I'm treating books like a drug addiction.

What else?

  1. Don't be like me and read in bed if you can avoid it, it's not great for sleep hygiene. It's too late for me, save yourself.
  2. Don't read if you don't genuinely want to. Don't push yourself to read a certain number of pages a day, or a certain number of books in a year. Don't read just "to read", it's not sustainable. I think you should just aim to try a book that sounds interesting to you every now and then, and if it doesn't compell you to read further then just put it down and walk away. You don't NEED to finish a book, let yourself be happy. As an avid reader, nothing frustrates me more than people treating reading like a chore or some desired goal. It's just words on a page, don't put it on a pedestal.
  3. I'd be interested to hear how you experience reading. Do you "see" the book like a movie? Is it better than a movie, in that you can smell/feel/taste things? Or do you experience it like someone is reading out loud to you? I was speaking with a friend once, and she asked how people like me could read for hours in end. She asked "don't you get sick of the sound of your own voice?" and that was such an eye-opening question for me. She heard the words being spoken whenever she read, she didn't really visualize anything at all. I had no idea it could be like that. For me, I don't hear the words. I don't see the words on the page. It's like I'm in the matrix and the experience gets fed directly into my brain and I can see and feel and hear everything and there's even this 6th sense sometimes that I can't describe. When I have to suddenly stop reading a good book, it feels like pulling my head out of a giant bowl of very firm jello. I think this is the main difference between readers and non-readers. It's not that one is more "enlightened" or have "good habits" or is an "intellectual". It's just more enjoyable for some (and more work/effort for others) on a very fundamental level. Not reading is not a shortcoming.

Sorry for the massive reply!

(edit: formatting)

[–] Corr@lemm.ee 1 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Hey can you elaborate on the sleeping in bed point. I like to read a chapter or three before going to sleep, especially to get my eyes off a screen

[–] sylphrin@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

For good sleep hygiene, you're supposed to avoid doing literally anything but sleeping in your bed (including sex and just lying there awake). It builds a strong association between bed and sleep in your brain so that you get to sleep easier or something. I've always found this one impossible but it's probably a good tip if you have the capacity for it.

[–] Corr@lemm.ee 1 points 1 week ago

Interesting. I knew you were supposed to avoid just hanging out in your bed but I hadn't really considered Doing Something I consider as bed time routine in bed to be problematic. Thanks for the info!