this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2024
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Lord of the memes
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To be fair, his name is Celeborn. Can't blame him for being celibate.
No, I blame Tolkien and his literally making elves only bang for the purpose of procreation because he's a repressed Catholic weirdo sometimes.
Jokes on him, modern society has agreed elves are hos.
It would be prudent for a sentient species with such long lifespans to practice planned procreation rather than multiplying exponentially like a culture on a petri dish.
There's the Elven Rope that's light as a feather and strong as steel. No reason there could not have been the Elven Condom that's thin and impermeable.
I'm sure they had them, but they're incompatible. Can't make Elven Ropes while wearing an Elven Condom.
Fair enough, but I think we can agree that Tolkien elves were bad at planning
He could have just given them all narrow urethras like Hank Hill
Some would say 40k maybe went a little too far in the opposite direction with dark elves.
Thats weirdly more of a Warhammer fantasy hold over what with dommy mommy Morathi, mind you unlike the Aeldar they didnt murderfuck orgy Slaanesh into existance.
So they say...
AkShUaLlY…. It’s pronounced “Kel-a-born”….but I still applaud your humor!
Most, if not all c’s are pronounced as hard K’s in Elvish (Elven?) languages.
It does get a little weird with places like Cirith Ungol, but there are, allegedly, older maps where it’s spelled Kirith.
Excuse me, his name is Teleporno. In original Quenya of course.