this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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7th implied fact: the baby's religion somehow plays a role in your deciding whether or not to hit it with a bat.
Eigth implied fact: The baby is durable enough to be hit by a baseball bat hard enough to fling it out of the stadium, and remain in one piece.
I don't see that implication
The baby is hardly going to make it out of the stadium if it splashes on impact.
Maybe not all, but individual parts should be far more aerodynamic!
Are there rules for that in baseball? If the ball breaks up I assume there's no play and they do over.
Got bored and looked it up, and there aren't, surprisingly. At least not in the 2019 revision of the Major League Baseball rules. But they do define what a ball is, and isn't, and a baby is not considered a valid ball (3.01).
But at least according to Rule 5.01(c)(1), if part of the baby gets on the batter, they might be considered "hit by pitch", and therefore eligible to advance to first base. (It would be considered a 'dead' ball, which is funny, given the context.)
The rules aren't written expecting the ball to break into bits upon impact, so it'd depend on it actually happening to get precedent.
But at least going by 4.01(a,e), it's the umpire's fault for providing an invalid "ball", and they might have to clean up, since they're tasked with replacing the "ball" if damaged.
I would assume the baby's head is what counts as the ball, here. If it detaches in a large piece and leaves the stadium, it should likely count.
Do they have spare Christian babies on hand though?
"So you're playing baseball, and Martha Kent is the pitcher..."