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Yuuuup, found out the hard way that tiktok shows you when someone watches a link you sent them.
My dad loves sending me cat videos on the tiktok, he sends me the links on Facebook.
I have two tiktok accounts because I knew there was a risk that my dad would be able to find me on tiktok through contacts. My dad is a transphobe, so in order to not poke the bear I maintain a cis persona when dealing with him.
But it took him 0.3 seconds to realise that he sent his daughter a link, and then an openly transmasc account user with a similar name opened that link, and then his daughter replied to his message reacting to the link...my ears are still bringing from the phone call he made to me.
So thats how my misunderstanding of tiktok trackers outted me to my transphobic father.
(fortunately I'm a fully grown adult and can cut him out of my life if he doesn't calm down)
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. And so terrified that anonymity is wiped out that easily
I don't remember which site this was, but I remember it being a pretty big one...
Anyway - I shared a link on reddit about 10 years ago, and I got a PM from a user addressing me by my first name telling me to delete the link.
Not only did it say who I was - the link logged people into my account.
Jesus, now that its terrifying!
What would even be the point of a link that allows you that? Like, why was it designed to do that!?
Props to that person who PM'd you the warning.
They were probably just lazy in their site design and the link itself contained the token for the login or whatever.
He'll come around, some people just take longer
I've been out as queer since I was 14. I'm in my 30, he still hasn't come around.
Given his age and health, if he's planning too come around he'd better get on it quick, at this rate he's dying a bigot.
I'm not waiting any more, I put my whole life on hold waiting for him to come around so I could live my life safely. If I need to cut him out of my life I will.
I appreciate they kind words, but please keep in mind mind that it's not always smart or safe to tell a trans person to be patient. The individual will know their level of safety, and advice to be patient and understanding can in some cases case be very, very harmful.
Is it just him?
Or are there more around him mirroring this hate?
No idea, he lives on the other side of the state and I only see him 3 times a year for his birthday, father's day and Christmas. My brother used to live with him but he spends most of his time with mum now.
I'm certain my dad is getting this rhetoric from social media because he's a lonely and isolated man in his late 60s with no friends outside of his male dominated blue collar job.
But it's not my job to reform him, I don't have the skill set or energy.