this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2024
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[–] dsilverz@thelemmy.club 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

In my perspective (a lonely person generally accustomed with my loneliness), small talk doesn't seem to be the problem. The problem is the lack of people's interest in deep topics, such as the aforementioned nature of reality: people either don't have the needed patience, time, or both. People are so busy running through the survival game of the mundane existence that deep topics are left for their afterlives (if there's one), when human ideologies and need for survival cease to exist. Small talk is like "sorry I got no time to think about the ultimate question of life, universe and everything else, gotta go to my modern slavery where I'm not paid to think but to obey, bye!". Deep inside, seems like a fear of becoming lonely as those that, just like me, likes to think about the depths of the reality and breaking paradigms (for example, "shouldn't we discuss how existence is so fleetingly finite in the grand scheme of cosmos and how futile is to accumulate wealth and goods?" is a granted source of loneliness).

[–] Disgracefulone@discuss.online 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

There's someone out there that would love talking about that stuff with you if you haven't already found them just so you know! ❤️

Everyone's got a person with a similar wave length as long as they don't settle before then!

[–] TonyOstrich@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That doesn't mean they will ever meet though... 😅

Not the OP, but I seem to share at least some form of his experience and I actually think this "song" does a really good job of summarizing how I feel about it.

https://youtu.be/o9kbcGfX35M

I am as sure there is someone out there for me as I am of anything else I have a high degree of confidence in. On the matter of whether we will ever meet or not though, that I can't say. Maybe the world is too large and time is too great. In the grand scheme of things we will find out soon enough.

[–] Disgracefulone@discuss.online 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well if they settle before then, they'll for sure never meet.

[–] TonyOstrich@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Of course, though unfortunately the decision is not a binary one. If a person spends their whole life searching and not finding, it could be that putting the same amount of time and energy into something else would have resulted in a more fulfilling life. There are shades of gray with this too since it's not one or the other. Like most things it's all about balance.

[–] flashgnash@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago

Met a few people like that, can literally talk to them for hours without getting bored

So far all of those people are either dudes or taken though lol

[–] InternetPerson@lemmings.world 7 points 1 month ago

The problem is the lack of people's interest in deep topics,

I'm not sure about that. I think small talk serves occasions where you might want to keep it polite as deeper topics tend to become emotionally loaded disputes.

For example, going to a bubble tea shop. Usually, you don't want to discuss the meaning of life with the shop keeper, but it may be a nice gesture to talk a bit about the small things in life. Small talk is a good way to share a pleasant conversation and appreciate each other.
Furthermore, small talk can serve as an opener to deeper topics if the occasion arises and everyone seems to be in the mood for such deeper topics.

Anyway, my wife and I are friends with the shop keeper now and we've talked about the weather, religions, vacations and how to raise children.