this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2024
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thebirdspapaya_snark

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Hello new Lemmy friends!

Word on the street tells us our community is regularly making it the all page. While this is very cool news to hear, we can see how the sudden emergence of our posts in your feed might feel jarring and probably raises some questions. And also how, without knowing the backstory, our community might appear less than virtuous, so here’s a very brief introduction which hopefully will clear a few things up.

The woman we’re discussing is a body positive influencer and media personality who has gained fame and wealth by lying, manipulating, exploiting her children for content, plagiarizing BIPOC creators and blaming her BIPOC content editor for it (thereby ruining her career), among other things. Her fraudulent behavior is no different (I’d argue worse) from the likes of Jay Shetty (google him if you don’t know who he is or what he did). She’s the latest in a long line of grifting influencers who are abusing their power, taking advantage of their position and exploiting their followers. The difference is that she’s Canadian. Our laws around social media and advertising aren’t as clear (and where they are she’s disobeyed them), add to that, our mainstream media has protected her from those who’ve tried to expose her grift and silenced/intimidated anyone who’s tried to speak out.

Our Reddit sub was taken down due to reports of copyright infringement, which is unfounded and categorically untrue as no one ever tried to steal her work and pass it off as their own. The mods have made an appeal. While at first glance it may seem like we’re just “shitting on her” the sub has been more devoted to investigation and posting proof of her lies than just bitching for the sake of bitching. The reality is that she’s hurt, manipulated and let down a lot of people. She stole intellectual property and employment, caused mental distress and has repeatedly told lies to boost engagement and profit off her audience, so people are understandably upset that their voices are being silenced.

We’re grateful to have been welcomed so kindly by so many of you, and to those sticking around to watch the drama unfold, we’re glad to have you!

**all posts are alleged.

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[–] Bitchwhiskers@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

I am in the midst of a really bad fibromyalgia flare and have had insomnia for the last week or so. I did a deep dive/scroll on her IG bc I had time at 3am, and hoped it would bore me to sleep lol. But her IG tells a really sad story. Much farther back, when her 100 lb weight loss was her whole identity, every 6-10 posts was a side by side of old “fat” self next to current waif self. I mean she posted these constantly!
Not sure which of you recently pointed this out, but her pregnancy with L is what triggered this latest spiral of hers. She was feeling good about herself bc she was thin. She struggled with her feelings about pregnancy and pregnant body (and to be clear, I’m not saying she struggled with her feelings about L. But she did have some honest moments about “bonding” struggles) (and if you just looked without reading you’d never guess she struggled…. A lot of skin in the feed!) and I’m sure she legit had some depression issues. The thing is she has never dealt with her disordered eating and body dysmorphia. So here we are. The 100lb weight loss is way in the past so that can’t be her identity. She’s loving her current weight loss a lot, obviously. But clearly she’s still unwell bc her use of filters is insane.
She’s really not a well person. In addition to fueling other people’s hypochondria, she’s doing damage to some like me who sought her content for legit inspiration. It fucks with my head and my self image. It has to be doing the same to women who don’t know what’s going on. She needs so much real therapy. Seriously. The hypochondria alone is wild and unchecked. How many illnesses has she had oh so briefly? Must be nice. Anyone with chronic pain issues must question why they can’t just stop feeling their illness and go traveling and shopping instead. And I don’t say that to be glib. The story her grid tells is sad, even scary. It’s all so gross. Janette nailed it too. Interestingly I was mentally composing this post or a blog post of my own at the same time Janette posted that story.
Anyway, just my thoughts.

[–] Whaaambulence@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That was me and you're right. But also, this is family history. Her sister ended up with an ED because she had her jaw wired shut in high school because she had jaw surgery and lost a lot of weight. Had every one of her kids pre term because of this. When S lost the 100lbs, it was from starving herself thin and when people called her out, she said she "couldn't possibly have an ED" because her sister did and it "hit close to home" for her. She sold her sister out and her story to save face. Then, years later she copped to it, because it was her new narrative. NK was also severely overweight and had a bypass or sleeve. She had complications with it because she continued to over eat...again, not addressing the root cause of it. The whole family has an unhealthy relationship with food and body dysphoria. SO when people ask "how does her family support this"..........this is why. They don't even see if because they also suffer from it

[–] Bitchwhiskers@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 month ago

Yes I’ve noticed that family pattern as well. I feel sad for NK bc as someone with Fibro and I can’t fathom how she does so much all the time. Maybe she’s a hypochondriac too or maybe she’s managing hers better. Who knows…but It’s not all sunshine and thrifted fucking roses in that gene pool, that’s for sure!

[–] No_really_why@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 month ago

I’m betting she’s desperately hoping to lose enough weight to look like her filters so no one can “gotcha” her… but she doesn’t realize weight loss doesn’t equal filters changing your skull structure.

[–] MoonChild@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I’m so sorry you’re in the middle of a flair. You’ve perfectly summed up Birdie. She is, in no way, happy with the way she looks and, like you, I believe she has some serious issues that really need addressing. She has such a need for attention she’ll go to any length to get it. Did you notice her ‘illnesses’ seem to crop up when her engagement gets low? She’s like every liar I’ve ever known. When they are caught, backed into the corner, they will pull something from out of their bag of tricks to deflect. I feel so badly for those followers who are still believers because they must go through so much turmoil trying to make sense of what they see.

[–] Bitchwhiskers@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Yeah i have def noticed that. I think she’s a true narcissist. Grandiose sense of self, and all the other text book traits. When narcs are confronted or found out, they lash out. In her case I think she manipulates and deflects with conjured illnesses. Bleh

[–] MoonChild@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Meanwhile, her mother has a real illness but she’s the one raising the youngest.

[–] Bitchwhiskers@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago

Yeah I only learned about her mom’s Fibro very recently. That really galls me!!!!

[–] after_act@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'd say not narcissist actually. While clearly NOT diagnosing, I find this really interesting: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9743-histrionic-personality-disorder

[–] Bitchwhiskers@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ooooh interesting!!!! Thx for that. I am fascinated by this stuff. This def smacks of possible accuracy

[–] after_act@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

it's really interesting to read! It is little lesser know and doesn't have the same buzz as narcissism does right now but ya.