this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
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I feel ya, I've always been a mix of "not ready" and "not wanting". Then my perspective on what fatherhood even is shifted and I was able to unshackle myself from the Christian thing.
That said, if you don't want kids for yourself then what impact are you having on those 20 somethings when you soapbox about how difficult and dangerous the world is?
My impact on them is supportive uncle mostly. I don't try to doom and gloom them with my old jaded take on the world. I know humans will figure this out. It will just be difficult. I tell them to look after each other because no one else will look out for you. Take care of yourself and enjoy your youth, but think for the future. I tell them they might change their mind on kids. I don't want them to just say no to kids cause they see me doing it.
I love being an uncle and older male in their lifes. I enjoyed teaching the younger guys in the military when I was in there for a while. We can accomplish a lot if we can unite and focus on a common goal.
I love to uncle, too. I passed on military entirely and rejected workplace leadership for awhile, but aging into "older male" triggers that itch sometimes. I've always joked that I like to rent not own, now my friends have kids and I got bonus nieces and nephews. It sounds like yours do have someone looking out for them. Good job, man!