this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
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chapotraphouse
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The fact that I didn’t know if you were going to dunk on the men for saying something like that or not answers your question perfectly.
Even half this site would take a cynical approach to a dude being that way
This is one of those blowback cases of patriarchy hurting men. Because the dominant social structure has men objectifying and harassing women constantly, it can be difficult to openly admit to finding a woman attractive as a man because people, very understandably, are going to assume that he means that in an objectifying way or is going to go harass her in public trying to get a date out of her and respond accordingly.
It obviously doesn't compare to the consequences faced by femme presenting people, but I'll have a moment every now and again where my bi femme partner and I will notice someone in a cute outfit and I have that moment of knowing that she could walk up to them and compliment them on it without issue, but if I tried to do the same they're likely to be defensive and assume I'm about to ask them for their number.