this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

We can’t really affect change if we don’t recognize that this is a bed that we made.

The problem is the men that are struggling generally aren't the same men that made the bed.

[–] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Obviously, however that doesn't make it not a problem with men. We still need a collective introspection, and course correction.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

How do you propose we bring this change about about? The one's who need to do it have no incentive. The rest of us can sit and think about things and blame ourselves for being men all we want but it won't change anything. I can encourage and support my peers all day long but it won't help them be more successful in life or get women to like them romantically because I have no social capital either.

[–] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You have to blame the men in charge, but also yourself, your upbringing, and realize you need to work on personal betterment just as much as trying to help other men. Real help, not just creating safe spaces to bitch about chads, and hate on women. Simply creating a place to support men, with actual counseling in mind, that diverts from just blaming women, will actually make things better, demographically. This social capital idea you have isn't the all encompassing thing you think it is. I have seen very meh looking men, who were fucking homeless, and jobless, in relationships with women. Having support groups, that are just not echo chambers of hate, and instead are implementing counseling methods, that certified people use, that you have researched yourself (do not call yourself a councilor, or claim any professional expertise, diagnosis, etc. just offer as help, man to man, with the increased knowledge) will, broadly, increase other men's sense of self. This will increase their personal confidence. This will lead to personal betterment. Then you push to branch out.

The idea that men need serious fucking help is already out there. Has been for a good while. It is slowly manifesting into society being more accepting of seeking mental health care, men processing their emotions, etc. Like I said, it is slow, but it is happening. If you are so inclined, do real research into the problems men face in society, like academic research, there is a lot out there to read through, and write a book. Maybe start a podcast, or YT channel. Sure you might not get anywere, but you got stuff out there, in the collective space, for others to see. Which is orders of magnitude more than any MRA, redpill, or incel community has done. Those communities just make the situation worse. They blame women, and even when they discuss men in power enforcing this, they just go "well this is a monumental task to change. Instead I will just stew, in this toxic echo chamber." While they are just making people advocating for reform for the betterment of men look bad. Look for people who want to publicly advocate reform. From the soap box, and maybe, eventually, to the larger public domain.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I do work on personal betterment quite a lot and encourage my peers to do so. As for the rest of it, how can I start a support group or YouTube channel if no one gives a shit about me or what I have to say? No one with the power to actually make changes will listen to me. The rest already know change needs to happen but can't do anything either so it would just turn into another echo chamber. Yes, a more positive one but still an echo chamber.

[–] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Have you ever petitioned your local legislators, or even contacted them? That is a starting point. You also search out what political initiatives are local to you, what political organizations are, and you look for ones already working for things that would benefit men. Things like groups pushing for better coverage of mental health care, groups that work to get popular media to discuss mental health, and work for better media representation of mental health care. There are plenty of these, and if none seem to be working for men's interests, since you joined, you now have a opening to present data to get them to do so, etc. Everyone who wasn't already a public figure, when the went on youtube, was in the same position. You could look for youtubers who are already doing just this, like for real, and not just grifting manosphere stuff, and push their channel to places.
Fuck, find channels that discuss mens' issues, and mental health, in a real way, and go push them in manosphere places.

There is a lot you can. You have to take the initiative, you have to figure out what is out there, you have to figure out how to interact with them, etc. It's not easy.