Asklemmy

I'll give you the incredibly brief version.

When I was seven my mom kidnapped me.

I managed to get a hold of my dad 6 years later, but nothing bad ever happened to her because of it.

Following that, my mom and stepdad essentially locked me in my room from the time I was 16 until I graduated high school about 2 months after I turned 17.

I was the valedictorian, a year ahead of my class. Kind of neat huh?

Only, my stepdad would occasionally come in and just attack me. I was punished for not doing enough school work by being forced out of my bed at 6:00 in the morning to go and dig up stumps in the backyard or to pick up a 40 to 120 lb Rock and carry it from one corner of the yard to the other corner of the yard where there was a pile of rocks, pick up a different rock out of that pile carry it to the third pile and then back and forth over and over and over until sundown.

Then I would come in, be fed, and then have to do more school work.

I lost all of my friends. I lost all of my self esteem. The day after I graduated, I left with my dad, who was not aware of this because my mom lied to him about it.

I was pretty wrecked and my dad didn't know how to cope with that so he gave me a truck and sent me back after about 5 or 6 months, and not having anywhere else to go I moved back in with my mom.

Literally a month later my stepdad tried to pull some shit and told me if I didn't go to work when they were leaving that I should pack up my stuff and not be there when they get back, so I packed up my stuff end of the truck my dad gave me and left.

I was homeless for about 2 years couch surfing with friends and trying to get my shit together and I was reaching out to God for help.

And on the first real date of my life I went out with this girl, we saw a movie, we got high we came back to my room at my friend's house and had sex.

And it was not very good all the way around, but then after I took her home and dropped her off it was like the scales fell off of my eyes, a bolt of lightning came down from the heavens and struck me hard in the heart, and I became aware of all of the sins I had committed in my life. All of my failings. All the things that were wrong with me.

And I was so broken I couldn't even cry, honestly I may have actually cried once or twice since then.

I was devastated.

And it's like, all the things that I thought I would be when I grew up went away. I could deal with the shit my mom and my stepdad pulled and I could deal with not being understood because I had a destiny and I had a dream and I was going to make it, and then I found out I was just a piece of shit, a crappy worthless human being whom, if I had never been born, the world would be a better place.

And there's a lot I'm leaving out but yeah, from that I started trying to rehabilitate myself. I've gone from being a worthless piece of shit to being useful fertilizer I guess.

I still have a long way to go and I don't know if I'll make it.