gardening

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Let it grow ^.^

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I want you and all leftists in the western world to be fucking good at gardening (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net to c/gardening@hexbear.net

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Seriously, I am tired of the stereotypes of leftists in the west looking like they all grow soy beans, as the fash call it ie weak as fuck. And almost to a large degree, it’s true.

I see chuds everywhere when I go to the community garden, and their plants are fucking huge ngl. They take care of their tomatoes. I don't care if you're growing potatoes, cucumbers, squash, artichokes, you have to have those fruits and leaves fucking huge and shooting to the sky and looking good. You want to help the cause? Help yourself. Do it for vanity, do it for others, do it for the greater good, I don’t care. Fucking weed and fertilize the best you can and get those veggies the biggest they can be.

It’s hard, but so is literally everything. Just know this is going to take 3-4 years of consistency. If you’re starting out, don’t worry about a garden layout, and just plant good shit. Your biggest goal at this point is consistency, watering 5 days a week. Do that over 3-4 years, and progressive growth every single day whether that be lettuce or whatever.

I want you fuckers to be fucking vain jesus fuck. Fuck your organics, use Miracle Grow for all I care, but have a green thumb while doing it. Slowly start doing more functional things such as eggplant or mushrooms w/e to truly maximise your gardening potential.

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[–] gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)

My weed always grows in thick and strong as a motherfucker, having put people who've been smoking for 50 years on their asses after a hit or 2

My mushrooms can make you trip good and hard on one of the fat ones, or just buzz you if you have a small cap

My raspberries were eaten by my goats they were so good (broke down a fence)

My blueberries are the main ingredient of my most popular ice cream

My watermelons are YUGE. Like, I wanted to see if I could enter the first one I ever grew because it was bigger than winners at my county fair but I fucking DROPPED IT ON MY WAY TO THE END IF THE GARDEN TO GET A PIC AND IT SHATTERED JUST LIKE MY HEART

My trick is to have purchased plant nutrients by their individual content (ie I have a nitrate supplement and a calcium supplement, not a plant-specific or combo supplement) and I adjust real-time what I feed and nutrient them based on their reactions. Once the soil is stable and healthy I only need to fertilize once a year and I can use my ranching compost pile for that, thank god. If a plant appears to be experiencing a deficiency I can add a little of whatever it is and observe.

It helps I had Aggie (UC Davis) friends in college and some of their nerdy knowledge stuck

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Used to get mushrooms from a guy with a degree in botany that were hands down the best I've ever had in my life.

[–] Commiejones@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

Strongest musshies I ever had the guy said "I shit on them myself."

[–] HumanAnarchist@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago

… DROPPED IT ON MY WAY TO THE END IF THE GARDEN TO GET A PIC AND IT SHATTERED JUST LIKE MY HEART

That’s so weird… my grandmother tells the same exact story about herself and her dad when she was little. Watermelon drops on the way to county fairs must be fairly common.