this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2024
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The last bit of healing from the breakup is self-forgiveness. The relationship ended and he blocked me everywhere because I sent him a message that was childish and kind of rude l. In hindsight, I was anxiously attached and codependent, and even the tiniest bit of distance sent me on a worry frenzy. That was combined with things in the relationship that made me feel like he didn't care, like telling me I should be sending good quality memes when I sent him virtual flowers lol.
I obviously know better now and vow to never act batshit crazy again, but the embarrassment and shame just cause me to spiral a bit when I'm feeling down. I just dwell on shit a bit too much.
These feelings will eventually diminish down into a light cringe moment. We all have acted ridiculous at times, and I can vouch I have acted batshit insane before. And the memories hurt because, we're not really like that, and it triggers other memories and feelings and events. But it will eventually become another faded memory to make you cringe in the night and giggle about to friends at brunch.
We get silly and serious and we fall in and out of love, fickle and fully invested. We send memes and lovey gifs, we profess our love and ask for reciprocation. We're just human, and we've been batshit crazy since we were messing around the fertile crescent. Cringe, but take solace in the knowledge that you are an amazing human doing amazing things. Put to rest any feelings of shame. You are beautiful and are doing great!
so many hugs