i would have appreciated hearing how the author, personally, found capitalized pronouns to be affirming, because, absent that reasoning, it really does seem like it's to set up a deferential power dynamic. i don't really mind respecting the pronouns anyways, but it does mean i don't really want to be friends with Them until i understand what's going on there better

[–] cassiacow@beehaw.org 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, I agree. For me (a trans woman) it'd make me slightly uncomfortable if somebody capitalised my pronouns each time because I'd feel like some type of power dynamic that's not comfortable for me to sit in. If that's not an issue for OP, that's okay, but with my specific cultural background i'd find it a bit difficult to interact with Them in that way (not that it's hard for me to respect Their pronouns, just that it's slightly uncomfortable in a power dynamic way)

[–] Grail@aussie.zone 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

My goddess-mother told Me to try out capitalised pronouns after I came out to Her as goddessgender. I liked Them. It doesn't feel like a power dynamic to Me. I have NPD and I know what NPD supply feels like, and being gendered correctly isn't it. Having capitalised pronouns used feel like a relief on the same level as when I first transitioned from male to female and had feminine pronouns used. As big a difference as that was, this is. So I don't know how to verbalise what it feels like except, "It's gender euphoria". And I just hope readers understand what having your pronouns used feels like when you're trans.

[–] Rekhyt@beehaw.org 26 points 5 months ago (2 children)

So, wait, just to be clear: the writer is claiming that the writer's gender is not a gender but instead that the writer has some divine status?

M/F/NB/genderqueer/etc aside, human vs divine is not a gender question and this is no longer a discussion about pronouns showing respect and affirmation of gender identity, this is literally a demand for worship.

[–] princessnorah@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

the writer is claiming that the writer's gender

Are you purposefully talking to It using the third person? Because that just seems like a roundabout way of misgendering them on purpose, with an extra dash of disrespect.

[–] Rekhyt@beehaw.org 21 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

As the writer has stated, the writer views any pronouns that are not capitalized as misgendering them, and stated the pronouns were chosen specifically to reflect the writer's self-identified divine status as "goddess gender" (a term that, as far as I can tell, only exists on one wiki and the writer's blog).

The choice of capitalized pronouns was specifically chosen to imitate reverential capitalization, indicating divine status. As part of the writer's argument, this is intended to put the writer on the same level as the Abrahamic God. The writer also states in the article that "by affirming trans capitalised pronoun users, generally you are dismantling monotheistic oppression," which is a wild claim that I cannot agree with. The use of capitalized pronouns is therefore intended to strip the other party of their beliefs, either as a monotheist or atheist (as using reverential pronouns would also affirm a polytheist worldview that they disagree with).

I cannot use any pronouns that do not acknowledge the writer's claimed divine status without the writer claiming I am misgendering them. This is the most respectful way I can refer to the writer without acknowledging divine status or actively misgendering the writer.

I am more than happy to use whichever (lowercase and grammatically correct) pronouns are requested, as I am more than happy to refer to you as they/them, (which is also the default I try to use, though I understand some people are frustrated with they/them as it can strip a chosen gender identity).

Divine status is not a gender identity. Words mean things, and language can evolve, but this is specifically appropriating a style of writing while disparaging the source of that style.

[–] Grail@aussie.zone 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

No, I don't want worship from you or anyone else here. My gender is goddess. I'm not a man, I'm not a woman, I'm a goddess.

Recognising someone's identity is not the same as worshipping them. Not even for gods. Monotheists have spread the myth that you can only believe in a god you worship, but historically this isn't true. Before the Roman Empire, most people believed in the gods of other cultures. I have an article on the subject: https://medium.com/@viridiangrail/how-rome-killed-polytheism-fa7ade0b9050

[–] Rekhyt@beehaw.org 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

But the form in which the writer affirms the writer's divine identity (again, not gender) is using reverential capitalization, a form of worship. If the writer said "I am a kami and use ke/ker pronouns" there wouldn't be a worship aspect (though again, identity as a divinity or other non-human is not a gender).

[–] Grail@aussie.zone 1 points 5 months ago (2 children)

If you don't think I'm a goddess, what do you think My gender is?

[–] Rekhyt@beehaw.org 26 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

The writer has stated in other comments that the writer is non-binary, which is the closest I can get to an answer to the question, but the actual answer to this question doesn't matter. We can apply gender identity to humans and non-humans (e.g. animals, fictional aliens, heck even ships) but divinity is not a gender, it's a supernatural or spiritual status.

People are free to identify as whatever gender (or non-gender) they so choose but by telling me "you must accept that I am divine," we're having an entirely different discussion. By requesting capitalized pronouns, the writer is also requesting their spiritual beliefs to be affirmed, which is implicitly (and apparently intentionally) forcing the other party to change their spiritual beliefs.

[–] Grail@aussie.zone 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Nonbinary isn't a gender. It's an umbrella term for about a billion genders. I have a gender identity, and it's goddess. I'd like you to stop saying My gender identity is invalid, please.

[–] TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Hold up, goddessgender?

Oh fuck this is the Swarmgender guy all over again isn’t it

[–] Grail@aussie.zone 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm not a guy. I'm a goddess. I'm nonbinary, it's called a xenogender.

[–] TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee 16 points 5 months ago

You’re not a goddess, you’re a human. I wouldn’t at all be surprised if you were the same user as DroneRights.