this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2024
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Is Madame Web worse than Morbius?
Undoubtedly.
One of the main characters has dubbed over his entire lines in post, so for the entire 2 hours of the movie, anytime he talks it sounds insane and fake.
Most actors deliver their lines with the energy of a faint sigh.
The "special effects" are live action Batman level. Like a generation behind the first X-Men movie back in 2001 or whatever that was?
The plot is absurd. There's no reason for any of what is happening to be happening, and the choices that the characters make over and over are not just horror movie don't go in that door, they're straight up nonsensical while not driving forward the plot at all.
Other than rubbernecking at the train crash this is, which is what I did, there is no redeeming quality to this film. I literally can't think of a single moment...except when I was sort of convinced that Sydney Sweeney was a young teenager instead of like 30, so that costuming was pretty impressive.
Oh she's only 26 though, okay.
Still, the insignificant trial of making a 26-year old look like someone's teenage daughter was the most impressive part of this movie, and it is more of a brief curio than an interest.
The dialogue and general screenwriting is unbelievable, as in not believable. I can't believe it exists.
Sony should not have released this movie.
I'm genuinely baffled as to why they did, unless they needed a couple million back on their investment and are willing to take such a huge critical and commercial loss for that couple million bucks that they can spend on future projects?
Baffled.