Sadly, this is not the Onion.

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For true stories that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

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Ontario Man Arrested on Complaint Alleging He Exported Shipments of Firearms, Ammunition and Other Military Items to North Korea (www.justice.gov)
submitted 4 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Fragrant-Energy2416 on 2024-12-04 14:54:28.
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Mom sues Mattel over Wicked doll packages with porn site link (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 4 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Confident-Cat19 on 2024-12-04 14:39:05.
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Ohio Satanic Temple to offer religious program for elementary school students (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 4 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/PrintOk8045 on 2024-12-04 14:32:12.
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Shotts killer who tormented victim's family "I'll be out aged 45" dies in prison (www.glasgowlive.co.uk)
submitted 4 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/RunDNA on 2024-12-04 12:58:10.
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Death sentence upheld for property tycoon in Vietnam — unless she pays $9 billion before execution (www.cbsnews.com)
submitted 4 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/AaronDotCom on 2024-12-04 11:46:49.
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Man has ‘finely tuned’ plan to find £500m bitcoin thrown in tip, Cardiff court told (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 4 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Jacinda-Muldoon on 2024-12-04 09:45:54.
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Cathay Pacific apologises over inflight Family Guy episode with Tiananmen Square scene (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 4 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/NeverEndingDClock on 2024-12-04 08:22:04.
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Cathay Pacific apologises over inflight Family Guy episode with Tiananmen Square scene (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 4 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/CaptainDildobrain on 2024-12-04 08:20:17.
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British band Sports Team robbed at gunpoint on US tour (www.bbc.com)
submitted 11 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/CountyBeginning6510 on 2024-12-04 06:30:36.
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Twelve U.S. Billionaires Now Have a Combined $2 Trillion (inequality.org)
submitted 11 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/BiggieTwiggy1two3 on 2024-12-04 03:06:52.
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Road rage driver accused in deadly Las Vegas Strip shooting threatened woman with gun months earlier after cutting line: police (www.8newsnow.com)
submitted 11 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/vt9876 on 2024-12-04 02:42:34.
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Tesla Cybertruck Immediately Dies in Canadian Winter – Owner Bricks the Truck Trying to Use the Defroster, Says “In Love to Heartbroken on the Same Day” (www.torquenews.com)
submitted 11 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/la_de_cha on 2024-12-04 02:35:29.
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Barrister Loses £1.2 Million Inheritance Battle After Accusations of Forgery (globalbenefit.co.uk)
submitted 11 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Less-Cap-4469 on 2024-12-04 01:25:53.
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Mexico president says Canada has a 'very serious' fentanyl problem (www.ctvnews.ca)
submitted 11 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/AaronDotCom on 2024-12-03 23:51:20.
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More than 8 tons of seized cocaine worth $183M offloaded in Fort Lauderdale (www.nbcmiami.com)
submitted 11 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/nondescriptun on 2024-12-03 22:22:42.
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Chinese crypto businessman eats his controversial $6.2 million banana art piece (www.npr.org)
submitted 11 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/DioriteLover on 2024-12-03 19:06:48.
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Tesla Cybertruck Immediately Dies in Canadian Winter – Owner Bricks the Truck Trying to Use the Defroster, Says “In Love to Heartbroken on the Same Day” (www.torquenews.com)
submitted 20 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/CareerPillow376 on 2024-12-03 17:25:22.
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Village People singer will sue any news organization that suggest "Y.M.C.A." is a gay anthem beginning in January 2025 (consequence.net)
submitted 20 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/IAdmitILie on 2024-12-03 21:42:12.
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Florida Introduces Bill to Ban 'Weather Modification' (www.newsweek.com)
submitted 20 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/throw0101b on 2024-12-03 21:36:23.
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Man accused of shoplifting during ‘Shop With a Cop’ holiday event at Walmart (www.firstalert4.com)
submitted 20 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Spirited-Resource650 on 2024-12-03 20:06:00.
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Why I regret using 23andMe: I gave up my DNA just to find out I’m British (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 20 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/MORaHo04 on 2024-12-03 19:21:02.
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Kansas City, Missouri, looks to establish policy for usage of ‘Kansas City’ (www.kshb.com)
submitted 20 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/bowling128 on 2024-12-03 18:26:05.

Per the article Kansas City, MO is seeking to limit the usage of Kansas City within the Kansas City Metro including potentially trying to trademark ‘Kansas City’ and force Kansas City, Kansas to distinguish itself as being in Kansas.

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Russian disinformation campaign claims Stalker 2 is being used to locate Ukraine war conscripts (www.techspot.com)
submitted 20 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/FourteenCoast on 2024-12-03 17:00:33.
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Jack in the Box Tests New Burrito Filled with Noodles (www.brandeating.com)
submitted 20 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Miguenzo on 2024-12-03 16:27:02.
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Satanic Temple begins religious release program at Ohio elementary school (www.cleveland.com)
submitted 20 hours ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/clevelanddotcom on 2024-12-03 14:02:44.
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