this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
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ADHD

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Thank you Nome @NomedaBarbarian

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@NomedaBarbarian on Twitter:

Thinking about how I've been lied to as an #ADHD person about what habits are.

That apparently is not what neurotypical folks get to experience.

Habits are things that they do without thinking.

They don't have to decide to do them. They don't have to remember to do them. Things just happen, automatically, because they've done them enough for that system to engage and make them automatic.

That system...which I lack.

Every single time I have brushed my teeth, it's been an active choice. I've had to devote thought and attention to it. It's not a routine, it's not a habit, it's something that I know is good to do, and hopefully I can remember to do it.

Every single time I exercise, or floss, or pay my rent, or drink water, or say "bless you" when someone sneezes,

It's because I've had to actively and consciously engage the protocol.

It never gets easier.

Just more familiar.

It's part of my struggle with my weight--exercise never becomes a habit, and every single time I do it, it is exactly as hard as the first time. It takes exactly as much willpower & thought.

I got lied to about how it would just "turn into a habit". And blamed, when it didn't.

Drinking water isn't a habit. Feeding myself isn't a habit. Bathing isn't a habit.

I spend so much more energy, so much more time, so much more labor on just managing to maintain my fucking meat suit.

And now you want me to ALSO do taxes?

ON TIME?

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[–] Captain_Patchy@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I think that the neurotypicals have ability to make these things onto "habits" that then happen automatically for them.
As a person that has to remember to every time, and decide everything I do, from what time I get up, to when I drink (and what) to when I shower or even brush my teeth, it is exhausting just maintaining daily hygiene and while I fully understand why I need to do all those things and WANT to do them to maintain myself, none of it comes without considerable forethought and considered decision making.

Frankly it can be exhausting just to exist, let completely alone, progress.

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[–] hark@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This has me paranoid like a dive into WebMD.

[–] TheMauveAvenger@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't because this whole thing is fucking stupid. Everyone has to stop and think about brushing teeth. There is no autopilot mode that lets people take care of simple tasks without even thinking about it.

If you're finding it difficult to brush your teeth, you're probably depressed, not necessarily ADHD.

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[–] Someology@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Yes, it is a cliche that "habits are hard to beak", because they are things you've done so much that you are condition to do them automatically. Like, dictionary definition.

[–] iquanyin@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

do you drive a car? ride a bike? walk? those are habits.

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