Melbourne

some kitty and pupper cuteness for you all

Stopping by for a life update because it’s been a while.

• PhD is submitted and I’m in limbo for now
• still very overworked
• my worst fears have been realised. the three (3) pear trees that are in the front and back yard at this house are, indeed, the cum variety
• I’m reading A Psalm for the Wild-Built this weekend and it’s such a fucking delight. One of the best things I’ve read all year, and I’ve read over 40 books now.

spoiler

What’s new with you guys. I’ve missed you ❤️

Aaand the photographer rocked up 2 hours early, and apparently the brides make up artist is an hour late aaand we've the booked the cab too late even though it's going to be early.

Fuck this noise if I meet the right someone it's just going to be at the BDM and take about 5 minutes.

Oooh bro's big wedding day. Did the flowers make it through the night in the venues cold room?

Just dropped last night that they're coming around for photos in the garden (!) and need nibbles heh. Honestly this better be the last surprise.

Hooray bros wedding went well.

Nice venue, nice people, good night, no mishaps.

Some drunk legend left me some leftover Massman curry in the fridge om nom nom nom

Maybe . . . just maybe, if neo-nazi's are coming out to support your side of the debate . . . you might actually be one of the baddies.

Worked hard. Ate pizza. Now having a nap.

And across Thornbury, a massed chorus of lawnmowers are singing the song of their people. I plan to do mine during the GF next weekend, heh heh heh. I am evil.

Assignment update: need more coffee

Edit: coffee aquired. Unfortunately it refuses to write my assignment for me and I still need to do it myself.

I love how the communities have grown on Aussie zone but I wish there was a food one. Get some ideas what to cook because that's my favourite part of the DT.

Another glorious day in Melbourne today. A top of 24° and a low of 13°. Currently it's 12°. Please enjoy your day. ☺

Made a mistake. Had the bedroom window open because nice day, fresh air. Just went to close it and realised the ornamental pear fragrance has filled the bedroom. Ewwww.

WHY WON'T I GO TO SLEEP

Brain OFF. SHUTDOWN. shutdown.exe /h /f

Let myself get sucked into thinking my mother was going parent for longer than five seconds, feels bad man. She begged me for a day out so ignoring instinct I planned a nice day, and now the afternoon before I can feel her wobbling and seeing how quickly she can get it over and done with. I love my mum, but man she puts those "here comes nanny with the children for a forehead kiss and some light petting" to shame.

Am pretty chuffed that I gave the house a rather good clean before my guests arrived and everything was done and dusted by 8.

Still feeling a lot of anxiety in my body again anticipating work response tomorrow, I really shouldn't and don't want to or need to care but it sucks so much that I still fear rejection/potential anger. I've had the chamomile tea and the relaxing candles but still nada.

Also I'm ready to start flashing the new ROM on my phone but I'm really nervous about it. Please pray for me because I really can't afford a backup phone right now

e: okay something is being wonky with my battery when I try to reboot into recovery the battery goes flat even though it is actively charging and was at 80%. I have tried twice now, I think I need to put it on the slow charger. taking this as a sign from the universe to just go to sleep for now and try again tomorrow

Okay so I haven't yet flashed a new ROM on my phone but I'm glacially getting there, backed up all images and downloads.

Also commenced an epic campaign of cleaning the house - not a true spring clean, but have relatives popping by this evening and they'd better not see the current state of my shower recess, esp as they might be staying here while I'm away. Plus it'll be nice to come back to a clean house after my upcoming trip.

Helps work off the anxiety about what kind of response I might get back from work on Monday. It doesn't affect me as much as before as I'm almost done with that part of my life now but you know, it's not easy to completely rewire the neural circuitry that tries to cope with easily angered people in positions of authority

What has to happen for the US dollar to go back to that amazing 1:1 we had like 15 years ago. They were good times.

Thanks to our mate @Nath@aussie.zone (I hope that's you) we now have a food community called Food Australia. I need to do a little work on it but the only rules I can think of are Don't ridicule. Don't be an arsehole. Go subscribe. Go post your food pics.

Now Nath because you make things happen a million $ would be nice.

Here's to an evening of guitar and chasing the cat around because apparently she likes that now

Breakfast of cereal done and a cup of coffee. Had my sun for a bit this morning.

Taking refuge inside now and try and distract myself for the day and relax and clear my mind.

Though clearing my mind seems to be the hardest part.

Righty ho, plan of attack needed for today (to avoid accidentally playing video games all day, again).

Dog walk then an omlette for breakfast. Assignment due today to be finished, with as little angst as possible. Depending on how much time I waste agonising over the assignment I will hopefully have time to make a start on digging up new garden bed #2. Salad for lunch. Dog food to be mixed & divided for the freezer. Change the bed sheets. Pork roast for dinner.

This is doable. Tomorrow I can sow some more seeds, and plant out the spinach and lettuce seedlings.

Pork roast is in the oven and smelling really good right now.

Fresh croissants from the bakery with some nice vintage cheddar and some top quality ham has to be my favourite breakfast

Some myna birds have built a nest in my passion fruit vine which is right beside my clothes line. For the last 3 days I've been hanging out my laundry and they have been swooping me and clicking their angry little birdie noises.

I have a good relationship with the local magpies. They don't swoop us.

But these mynas are annoying. I'll leave them alone but I'm looking forward to them moving on.

Exercises were completed late tonight. Reporting to you guys is keeping me accountable and guilt free! This morning I finally finished organising my herb and spice carousel thingy and it's all looking very tidy. Took Minipeelers with me shopping today, had to get some tablets my MIL couldn't find anywhere and some shoes for Mr P that are easy to put on (he's having a lot of trouble with that these days). Buying the shoes was a funny experience. Mr P's feet are very thick in the middle, it's a bit hard to describe. Basically I got an old pair of his runners and worked out that if I can't fit my clenched fist into the shoe then his feet won't go in. So there I am at Kmart in the mens shoe section inserting my fist into every pair of slip on casual runners they had, it would've looked very odd! Mr P says the shoes I got were perfect. Now everyone is in bed and I finally get to scroll back and read what kind of day you all had before shuteye. G'night all!

Warning: this will be a bit of a vent because it has to come out somewhere.

I gave myself my first haircut since lockdown era yesterday. Just the back and sides because it was looking scruffy under my baseball cap I wear most of the time and I was going for a coffee with a lady friend. It was a bit of a rush job so I revisited it tonight to clean it up, I'm going to the office tomorrow so I can't wear a hat. I'm actually more pleased with it than my last few hairdresser haircuts with the caveat that I can't see the back and do that part by feel alone (I know mirrors exist, but I live life on the edge sometimes).

Giving myself haircuts isn't actually a great sign and it's probably a bit telling about where I am at the moment. I got an out-of-the-blue message the other day from an old fling, one I regret letting get away years ago, with a screenshot of one of those "10 years ago today" Facebook posts which showed us out dancing together. She's been happily (I assume) with someone for the last 3 years and we haven't really spoken so I thought maybe something had happened and she was reaching out to reconnect, due to her bringing up when we went on a few dates and bringing up how fun it was, but I had a look at her profile (I don't look at Facebook anymore) and she looks happier than ever with him, which I'm honestly happy for her because she deserves it. She stopped replying after I asked how the family was. I guess she was done catching up. C’est la vie.

Add that to me having to deal with a crush I've developed with lady friend from the first paragraph. I know - even if it hasn't been addressed directly - that we are friends and won't be more than that. It's just confusing because we speak every day and she is pretty much the only person I'm actively socialising with so my stupid monkey brain is being a dumb bastard. If I didn't know better I'd think it was the start of something by the way we speak, it feels 'familiar', but I need to keep bringing myself back to reality and tamper anything extra bubbling in my stupid brain because eventually she's going to say she's seeing someone and it's going to sting, but bracing for that constantly sucks. I need to compartmentalise that, work on myself and expand my social circle to new people so I'm not clinging onto the one branch in front of me. These feelings of loneliness, anxiety and hopelessness are getting worse and nobody else can fix that for me.

Anywho, there's way too much info about me. Posting late so this falls into yesterday's archive without too much exposure. I mostly just wanted to write it down somewhere where human eyes which aren't my own could see it, I think.

Someone here wrote asking us where we would go on holiday if we could go anywhere.

I've been thinking. Right now two weeks at Sanibal beach would be nice. Just doing nothing except go for long walks and collect shells. maybe the second week go fishing with Mr Seagoon.

At a later time when I'm not so tired a few weeks in Egypt would be nice, or Venice.

I opened a roll of Devon for some unknown reason the other night.

Not sure if I should use it for something other than sandwiches.